**Kind of a serious topic so there are no pictures.**
I’m
going to start this post by saying it is 3:47 am. UMM yeah……
I have been mentioning things here and there about my
unemployment situation in some of my more recent posts. I have been trying to be mindful not to mention it in ALL of my posts. Being unemployed is one of
the reasons why I started blogging so it is an important factor to this blog.
With that being said - - the real point of this blog is my “bridal” story. I
wanted to be sure that I did not OVER
saturate the blog with my unemployment woes.
If you are wondering why I cut back on
talking about my job search well……I was at a place where being the “Unemployed
Bride” was all I could think of. I felt like an absolute failure. It wasn’t a
good feeling.
Now I am in a MUCH MUCH MUCH better place.
I still think about my “unemployment status” daily, but I don’t dwell on it as
I did before. What changed? To be honest…… I received a much needed break
financially. I will not go into details, but what I will say is that I am very
very lucky (and/or blessed whichever way you go). Without
that financial break I know I would have still been in a really unhappy place.
People aren’t always candid or honest or forth coming regarding getting a break or getting help. I
believe in privacy, but I think it is important to share with others who are
following your story “hey I got a break.” I shared this in one of my older
posts that it’s encouraging for people to hear that you got a break. Yes, there
will be people who are jealous, or may long and want the same things for
themselves. But it still is encouraging to hear.
As I said earlier my attitude changed, and
I am happier now. I feel more at ease, and I feel more like myself. Going
through this situation I’m witnessing that A
LOT of people will give you misleading reasons for things “getting better”
for them. Or they will credit everything to “prayer” and “God.” This bothers me
a lot.
Hear me out first, before deeming me an
atheist. By crediting everything to “prayer” and “God” I mean I hate when
people leave out “the work” that they put in. For example you and a friend may
both be unemployed. Suddenly she gets a job. You’re happy for her and you ask “Wow
congratulations! How did you get your job?” You’re friend says, “I prayed, I
meditated, and put out positive energy and I was blessed with this opportunity.”
Your friend never says: I filled out 150
resumes a day. I went to a career counselor. I networked 4 times a month. I
went to workshops to build my skills, and networked there. One of my Uncle’s
best friends that I met at a BBQ on the 4th of July needed
someone who specialized in accounting really bad.
When all of these
details are left out, you’re left feeling like “All she did was pray, meditate,
and think positive hmmm I must be doing something wrong.” Not to discount
prayer, meditation, and thinking happy thoughts. But all of the other things
also played a huge role as well.
I’m somewhat of a private person. I hate
being judged. I’m learning what to say, what not to say, who to say it to, and
who not to say it to. You don’t have to tell a person every detail of what you
did to get a job. But what’s wrong with saying “I filled out hundreds of
resumes, I prayed, meditated, and I was blessed with this opportunity.”
Hearing the God-Honest-Truth is inspiring.
I remember once I worked for a company in an “entry level” temporary position. (Never
mind the fact that all of the entry level candidates had years of experience and 50% had master degrees.) The
position had an option for full time employment. One of the women that I worked
with was really religious, and I really admired that. The job was tough, and we
all got discouraged A LOT. The culture of the company was “highly” competitive.
I became close with this woman. We ate
lunch together, and she would always speak about how “blessed” we all were to
have this opportunity. Even after meetings when we all thought we were going to
get fired, she would let us gripe but then quote a scripture. We got paid peanuts,
and we all had made crazy sacrifices to be there. I remember there came a time
when I had decided that I was going to quit. I couldn’t afford working there anymore,
and I wasn’t going to get promoted anytime soon.
When I spoke to her about it she took me
out to lunch. When we were at lunch she told me how much she hated the job as
well. She had her faith and she prayed a lot to prevent her from quitting. She
went on to tell me how she had to take out a loan in order to be able to afford
to work there. She hoped that she would get promoted before her AMEX card reached
its limit.
When word started to travel around our
little office that I was quitting more people started to share their woes. Another
colleague of mine told me how he had recently moved into a subsidized housing
complex. He could no longer afford to live in his condo. Ironically one other
male colleague shared with me that he was moving in with different colleague in
our office. They thought it would be easy to split the rent.
Before speaking with my co-workers about
my plans to leave I thought I was doing something wrong. I was miserable,
stressed, broke, and a whole lot of other things. Some of the people I worked
with were doing well at the job. I found myself feeling jealousy towards their
success. I found myself saying “what am I doing wrong? What’s wrong with me?”
When I heard the God-Honest-Truth it was
so powerful. No, it wasn’t my business. I’m sure if I was a different type of
person I could have used that information against them. But just hearing the
other side, not just “prayer” “meditation” and “being positive” - - hearing “I
was about to get evicted” and “I had to take out a loan” it made me feel
several things. I felt:
1. Wow they really
deserve their success.
2. I have so much more
respect for them.
3. This isn’t the job
for me because I’ll be D@MNED if I go into debt trying to keep a job.
In closing, while I understand why people choose to vaguely give “all praises” to God I wish we were in a society where people
could be a little more candid about things.
Sincerely,
The
Anti-Bride 2013
Email:
theantibride2013@gmail.com
Twitter:
@theantibride2013
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