A Wedding Post: Is It Tacky To Request Gift Cards?

      Hello all!!! So I've been up since 3:25 am this morning, like most mornings. Don't ask?!!! 

     Forget it I'll just tell you... "The Fiance" has to be at work at an Un-Godly hour. As a spouse in training I see him off in the mornings. Not by choice. I just sort of gave in.

      My sleep patterns are completely off because of his work schedule. I swear we live in a different time zone. It really is that bad. Some days I am able to go right back to sleep. Most days I'm not. So today like most days I browsed the internet. Today, unlike most days, I decided to be productive and get some "wedding stuff" out of the way. 

      Getting "wedding stuff" done at 4:00 am on a Monday morning is one of the reasons why I am an Anti-Bride. The following bridal stuff got done today:

• Found my Save The Date Magnets & Enclosure Cards at a reasonable price
• Updated my wedding website on TheKnot.com
• Committed in my mind to visit two host hotels within the next 3 or 4 weeks.

     Yep, a pretty productive morning to say the least.

     The second bullet point is what instigated the topic of today's post. While updating my wedding website on TheKnot.com I decided to update the registry portion. That's where all the drama began!!!

      I have a beef with registries of ANY kind!

      Not that kind of beef. I'm talking NBA rivalry type beef!

     That's more like it!!!

     I don't like registries because I feel like they:

• put a lot pressure on you as the guest
• make guests feel GUILTY if they want to purchase something that's not on the registry
• make guests feel like they're being told what to get and how much to spend
• make guests feel like time is of the essence to get certain items (i.e. people usually get the least expensive items first)
• make guests wonder how do we know you're even going to use it (not that it is anyone's business)

     I understand the purpose of using registries. Registries can make life easier in certain situations. For example if you're getting married but neither of you have ever lived on your own, then yes a registry is important. If your having a baby for the first time, then yes a registry is important. After your first home, and your first kid registries become a bit of a nuisance. 

     For my bridal shower I struggled to put items on my registry. Wait.....first I struggled with what stores to choose from. I may like to shop at Bloomingdales, Nordstrom, and Saks, but you, the guests, may not be with all that. So I tried to choose stores that were accessible to everyone. The problem was I had all of the essential things people ask for in registries. I found myself just putting random items on my registry to try to discourage people into just giving up and getting gift cards.

Exhibit A -- My purple chandelier listed on one of my registries which no one has purchased:

     Some people got the hint. Other people didn't. I got a few phone calls, text messages, and emails where family and friends asked if my registry was complete at each store. Some even pointed out that I should just ask for a whole set of wine glasses instead of placing a single wine glass from each store on my registry. (Hey what do you expect I had to get creative. Who knew that Martha Stewart carried a line at Macy's and Target.)

     During those conversations I broke down and just said, "listen I appreciate that you guys want to get me what I want, but I don't really need any of it. I would prefer gift cards if that isn't too much to ask." After sharing this information I got a lot of, "well why did you just say that. Shoot that's easier for me because I just pick that up from the CVS!" 

      I live in a moderately sized Brooklyn, New York City apartment. Depending on what you expect from a NYC apartment my apartment is either moderately big or moderately small. Regardless of the geographic location there are only so many closets, so many cabinets, and so many drawers in any apartment. We just don't have the space to put things. My grandparents purchased several towel sets for me. I was excited and thankful. But with one tiny linen closet that also serves as storage for toiletries, hair products, and our tool box, I just don't have the space for my new towels.

     If I get a few gift cards from Macy's then I could purchase this beauty to put my towels in:

     Taking all of this into consideration I made the executive decision to request gift cards on my registry page. Here is the text that I included:

You may find registries at the following stores:

• Bloomingdales
• Macys
• Target
• Bed, Bath, and Beyond
• J.C. Penney
• Sears

Our home is filling up rather quickly with love and LOTS of other things. We are thankful to those who have purchased items, as well as to those who plan to purchase items. With your gifts and blessings we have the majority of the necessary essentials to begin married life!

We ask, in lieu of large presents we request gift cards. Thank you so much for your understanding and support. We look forward to seeing all of you on our big day November 8, 2014.

     Asking for any form of currency whether gift card, dollars, cents, pounds or euros is a very very very difficult thing. I googled this topic because I really wanted to be positive as to what the etiquette was. It turns out that either people get it or they don't. Either they find it tacky, shameful, low rent, and offensive or they find it perfectly acceptable. 

     From what I read one of the main why you shouldn't ask for gift cards (or money because a gift card is perceived to be like cash) is that you should be grateful for whatever your receive. 

     Another reason why, so I've read, you shouldn't ask for gift cards/money is because it is perceived that you are hard up for money. Then the question is raised, "why are you having a big lavish wedding if you cannot afford it?" Reading all of this made me want to just quit and give up. 

     I started to feel like whatever gifts/gift cards/ checks or money orders I get is what I get. 

     After stubbing my toe on my tool box in attempts to get a roll of toilet paper out of the linen closet I decided NAAAAAWWWW I'm not going out like this! That's when I said forget it I'm going to request gift cards. Call me low rent, call me tacky, call me shameful, call me whatever but if you're that ashamed or insulted then just don't come to the wedding. 

     In closing, I understand both sides of the argument. In taking on my role as an Anti-Bride the point is to create my own tradition and tailor my experiences to my expectations. I expect my wedding to fall in line with my vision. Entering year two of wedding planing I no longer expect people to get my vision, or accept my expectations. This is why people can decline with regret.

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bride

Email: theantibride2013@gmail.com

Twitter: @theantibride2013

     

Career Update: I'm Not Crazy Just Misunderstood

     Good Day!!!

     I have been wanting to do a career update for a REALLY REALLY long time. The reason why I haven't is because my career change has recently moved from being conceived to the development process. (Yes, I still have babies on the brain from the Baby Talk An Open Discussion post.) Things are looking very very positive and promising, BUT I think it's just too soon to give a complete update with full details.

      In the last post (I'm Still An Anti-Bride: My Stance......) I mentioned that I plan on pursuing a second B.A. or B.S. degree in speech language pathology. Since I did give you that much I do feel that I owe my loyal readers some type of an explanation. So here goes.....

     I have always, by always I mean for as long as I can remember, had a fascination with language. It is something that I never really spoke about. I wanted to study different languages, travel, and 'ya know' do stuff with all that information. When I was young I didn't really know what industry would afford me to do that. So I went along with life like most people do hoping that I would "figure it all out." 

     In middle school I came across the career of speech language pathology and linguistics. I think it just dawned on me after seeing kids go to speech classes that "hey maybe I could do that." When I got to high school I felt like "okay I got this all figured out! I'm going to graduate from high school, go to college, major in speech, and become a speech therapist. That's my life!" Oh so I thought!!!!

     While in high school I really got into writing, theater, journalism, and just communications as a whole. As an adult looking back, my theory is that my interest in speech is what got me into communications. I enjoyed public speaking, but I didn't have an interest in being on the debate team.  There wasn't a speech therapist club or class in high school. But there was a drama class, a creative writing group, and media journalism program. I was able to release the "language" aspect that I held near and dear through written, oral/media communications. 

      Since I did well in journalism it made sense to major in mass media communications, and minor in speech pathology. Like a lot of recent high school graduates I graduated from high school, and I knew what I wanted to do. I just didn't really grasp how I wanted to do it. I knew I had to go to college, but I didn't really want to go to college. I think I was just really burnt out and hormonal!!!

      I struggled with finding my way, but I found it. The University that I attended did not have a speech program. They did have a mass media communications program. So I went hard with that. 

     I've always known what type of life I have wanted to have. If you read my Role Model of a Sexy Woman post then you know at 8 years old I knew the following:

• Where I was going to live
• Who I was going to marry
• How old my future husband would be
• Where both of us would be working
• How many children (step-children) we would have
• Where my future husband's ex wife would be living

I don't know what's crazier the fact that I had a very detailed blue print of what my life would be like as an 8 year old child.

OR

I have used and followed that blue print very carefully as an adult. I mean it's crazy. 

     Nevertheless, knowing what kind of life I wanted to have I knew that if I saw any sign of distress in my career in journalism I needed to go to my back up career, speech language pathology. 

     It was right around the time of my bridal shower that I started to have an internal struggle with myself. My 8 year old self started to really nag at me and tell me "hey it's time to go with Plan B." It was really hard for me to make the decision to move on with my career. My professional journalism career started out with me just writing stories for my college classes in Columbia, SC. While doing that I was working part time as a waitress at a sports bar. Since I was a full time college student I worked the slow hours. Working the slow hours meant I would watch 20 big screen tv's all on various sports channels. That evolved into me learning a lot about sports, and taking interest in sports communications and journalism.

     From there I networked, and took advantage of ANY and EVERY possibility I could. Counting the freelance work that I did as a teenager you're talking 13 years of "grinding." From state to state, city to city. I lived and/or worked in: BOTH Carolina's (North and South Carolina), Georgia, Virginia, D.C., Ohio, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and of course New York.

     Pursuing a career in speech pathology isn't new for me. I knew all along that speech therapy was in the cards. It is new for EVERYONE else, except maybe my mom and sister. (Both mom and sister remember my dream of being a speech therapist.) I find myself convincing others in my life that this isn't a "save face" decision. I have thought long an hard, like 15 years long and hard, about this career choice. Just this time two years ago I was at Citi-Field interviewing for a coveted spot with the Mets. 

     Now I'm filling out applications to go back to school to be a SPEECH THERAPIST???  

     I get it! It really doesn't make a lot of sense. That is why I have been mum discussing my personal life with friends and family lately. 

     In closing, I have applied for my second B.A. or B.S. degree in speech language pathology. Depending on what college accepts me I will pursing a Bachelors Degree in Arts or in Sciences. I need to complete anywhere between 15-30 prerequisites credits in speech language pathology. Once those are completed then I can apply for graduate school. In the state of New York you cannot practice speech therapy without a graduate degree in speech pathology. You also need to be certified in EVERYTHING under the sun. It's going to take me roughly around 3 years before I can begin practicing.

      I try not to think about 3 years in the terms that a lot of others think of it. I feel that the time is going to pass regardless so why not? In my former industry it would take anywhere from 5-10 years to move from entry level to a SECURE mid/junior level position. There are so many forms of entry level that you can remain stagnate. You may have an executive title, but your skills and duties are that of a glorified intern. I know had a stayed in my industry in 5 years I would be just entering the mid/junior level. 

      Needless to say I'm happy with my decision. Scared yes, but happy. I will keep you posted on school acceptance as soon as I know something.

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bride 

Email: theantibride2013@gmail.com

Twitter: @theantibride2013

I'm Still An Anti-Bride: My Stance On The Photographer Part 1

     Hi readers!!!

     I decided to break "the fourth wall" and start talking to you guys --"the readers"-- personally. I feel if you're reading this post then you must share, or have some sort of interest, in my mindset, or the generic mindset of an Anti-Bride. 

     If you're interested in MY mindset I have to say there was a point where I thought this whole "Anti-Bride" thing was just a phase. This was very recent. I'm talking as recent as last week! 

     I started to feel like "Hmmmmm maybe I am a traditional bride after all." Well......... that theory came to a screeching halt. Why you ask????

     Three things:

1. I am an Anti-Bride because: I am completely sold on the flower and brooch bouquet idea. I am starting to pick up brooches, earrings, and other jewelry items.
2. I am an Anti-Bride because: I am also 95% sold on the idea of having fabulously-fake-flower and jewelry centerpieces on the guest tables. This really goes with my whole Prince - Diamonds and Pearls theme.
   
   In "layman's terms": I am an Anti-Bride because there will be NO, I repeat, NO fresh flowers at my wedding reception.
   
3. I am an Anti-Bride because: I am soooooooooooo not sold on spending A LOT of my remaining budget on the photographer. For me the pictures aren't the most important aspect of the wedding. 

     I know I know, those 3 reasons are pretty big. I plan to dedicate a full post on reasons 1 & 2 later on. For this post I want to divulge my photographer stance. 

SO..........

     This wedding is turning out to be WAAAYYY more expensive than I could have ever imagined. 

Disclaimer: I didn't have a budget when we began planning our wedding. When we originally started planning the wedding I was working, and had a decent salary. The budget wasn't a huge issue. I knew I didn't want to spend $20,000 for my wedding. I just wasn't sure how much it was going to take to make my vision come alive. 

Being really really forthcoming, I didn't have a complete vision. I just knew what I liked and what I didn't like. I needed a lot of guidance. NOW that we are almost a year into planning I have a much better understanding of what I want and what I'm willing to spend. 

     My life and direction has changed so much in the past 8 months. I've mentioned this repetitiously, that I am entering Plan B career wise. When we started planning this wedding my career plan was to stay at my former employer for 3 years. Those 3 years were going to buy me some time to figure out how and if I need to execute Plan B. Well..... we see what happened with Plan A.

     Losing my job and losing my steady income was very difficult. By the SAVING GRACE of the ALMIGHTY!! (HALO moment in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1)

     
     I received some much needed financial support. 

     When we began planning the wedding I knew that I would be receiving this support at some point during the process. This financial support wasn't intended to be used for the wedding. For all expense purposes we could have used that support to make the wedding happen on November 2nd of this year. Having experienced that job loss I couldn't see myself getting married on November 2, 2013 without knowing for sure what my career future was going to be. Seriously what were we going to do on November 3rd?

     I'm going all around the world with this.

     I'm going to bring it home. I promise you will understand what all of this has to do with my stance on the photographer.

     I decided back in August that I needed to get as organized as humanly possible, and try to work out a budget. 75% of our venue is paid. We hope to have 90% of the venue paid by December. When I renegotiated my contract with my wedding planner she stipulated that she be paid in full by November 1, 2013. Needless to say she will be paid up in a week or so. So that leaves the budget for EVERYTHING else. 

     I don't like to talk numbers because it's no one's business. So I won't talk numbers per say. What I will say is the budget for everything else, in my personal opinion, is pretty reasonable. Put it this way, I am looking to go back to school and pursue a 2nd B.A. or B.S. (depending on the program that accepts me) in speech language pathology. My tuition for full time (12 credits) at one of the CUNY (or City University of New York) colleges would be roughly around the MAX of what I'm willing to spend on the budget for everything else for the wedding. 

      Taking that into consideration I decided to make a priority list from most important to least important in our budget. For me the decor (decorations and lighting), and the entertainment (dj and mc) are the most important things. That leaves the photographer as the least important thing. 

     I am not, and have never been, photogenic. I don't really enjoy taking pictures, because I'm always disappointed by the outcome. Then I also have my "twin insecurity issues." (If you want to get caught up on my twin insecurity go to my Bridal Shower Recap post.) I understand the importance of the photographer. There are those special pictures that a Smart Phone cannot due justice. So I get that part. I plan to do my research to find the best quality and most affordable package.

     For my ideal situation I want to have the photographer snap the portrait style pictures. The important pictures like the entrance, the toasts, the daddy daughter dance, first husband and wife dance, cutting of the cake, and all of those sentimental things. Everything else I plan to just gather the those pictures from my guests. 

     While I'm not HUGE on social media, I decided that I wanted to have a HEAVY social media presence when it comes to my wedding. We have our wedding page on theknot.com, and I plan to incorporate Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. When I brought this up to my wedding planner I felt as though she took it as a bit "low rent" of me to want to have a huge social media presence in replace of having a really good and expensive photographer. 

     From an industry perspective I respect my wedding planner's position. But I am an Anti-Bride or in wedding industry terms a "non-traditional bride." 

     In closing, this is just part 1 on my stance on the photographer. Oh there will be more parts to this as this is an ongoing issue. Going back to my first career and love which is sports journalism/communications/business my photographer situation reminds me of debate that I had with colleagues in the industry. 

     A few years back one of the NYC area sports teams had a 3D theater style room within the arena where fans could watch the LIVE game take place.

     This was supposed to be the new wave or evolution in sports. Watching games in 3D in the arena. It was supposed to be so retro and so in. 

     AND I thought it was the dumbest idea ever. When asked about it was I was very blunt I said this idea makes absolutely no sense. We live in 3D. So you're expecting fans to actually spend money to go to the arena to watch the game in 3D in a separate room. I can see if it aired on the jumbotron in the arena. That would be beautiful for fans who do not have the best seating. But to actually be in the arena and not experience the game live is just stupid. The whole point of going to a game in to experience the game not watch it on television.

     Well I liken that to my photographer situation. The whole point of spending a lot of time and money on a wedding reception is so that you can enjoy the reception. I don't want to spend all of my time at my reception taking and posing for pictures. Hey that's just what I think!

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bride 2013
Email: theantibide2013@gmail.com
Twitter: @theantibride2013

Tales Of A Modern Day Housewife: Going Back To Work

     Yes the title is correct! I am heading back to work in a little less than two weeks. But you all knew that already!!??!!

    This is a temporary gig with start and end date. There is a minor possibility that the job can last longer than the end date. I am not going to hold my breathe on it. 

     I did get an official offer letter this time. If you follow this blog then you remember back in March I received a false alarm about a new position. I interviewed on a Friday and got a verbal offer with a promise of a written offer the following week. I waited for a full month for that written offer and never received it. Then I found out the company had over-projected their budget. So you know what that meant.

     "The Job that Never Was" incident was seven months ago. It has been eight months total since I worked. Even though my new job isn't a "big career move" it still is a pretty relevant move towards my change in career. For me it's a pretty big deal.

     I really am starting over. Which is very scary and humbling. So what does it feel like to be "A Modern Day Housewife-in-Training" heading back to work. Well... here are the bullets:

• My "work clothes" are a little snug. So I have been, frantically, working out that situation.
• I still have some home improvement projects that I never finished.
• I'm excited that I won't be getting the side eye for "just staying at home!"
• Not looking forward to the side eye for "choosing a job that has absolutely nothing to do with what I've done in the past!"

     In closing, I am trying to be more of a glass is half full type of person. Whenever I was asked if I see the glass as half empty or half full I always would respond "well it depends if you're thirsty." lol lol lol This new position is in fashion. So I am one step closer to being like my role model Sue Ellen!

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bride

Email: theantibride2013@gmail.com

Twitter@theantibride2013

My Dress Has Arrived!!!

     Hi Everyone!!!

     My dress arrived last weekend. I am very excited about it. I didn't think it was going to come on time. Despite everyone telling me that it will come waayyy before my wedding date (which was Nov. 2, 2013), I still didn't believe them. Boy was I wrong. My dress did come way before projected.

     Having my dress is a sigh of relief. It's one less thing that I have to contend with. The next step is finding the best and safest way to preserve my dress for over a year. I have been looking into storage options. I plan to do a post on that. Right now I'm just enjoying having a big puffy dress in my closet!

     SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU here is my wedding dress:

     My slip and bra in my Alfred Angelo bag.

     My dress inside of my Alfred Angelo garment bag.

     My Alfred Angelo Gown hanging up on my bedroom door. It's a whole lot of dress!!! And it's really really white. The sample that I tried on wasn't quite this white. Obviously because it was a sample so it had been through some things. But still this is probably the whitest article of clothing I have ever had. I really want to look into the right type of storage so it can maintain its diamond white shine.

     Here is a close up on the bow of my dress. This bow is one of the reasons why I want to have a brooch bouquet. 

     Here is the back of my dress. My dress has a detachable 3/4 length lace jacket. The back of the dress really shows the detailing of the jacket.

     Here is a close up of the jacket. You really get to see the detailing in the jacket.

     Here is a picture of the dress without the jacket. It's almost like a different dress, give or take.

     So I mentioned a few times in this post as well as in one of my older posts that I want to have a brooch bouquet. For those who don't know what a brooch bouquet is, a brooch bouquet is an arrangement that consists of flowers and brooch jewelry. You can either do it yourself or have a bouquet custom made. There are some brooch bouquet that do not contain any flowers at all. I am leaning more towards my bouquet including an arrangement of fabulously fake flowers and brooches. 

     Here are a few pictures of my favorite brooch bouquets.

     In closing, I am really satisfied with my dress and my decision to include a brooch bouquet. I think this matches my personality precisely. When I told a few family members that my dress was black and white they were like..... ummmmm black and white??? But I think they will be pleased when they see the whole design come to life!!

Sincerely, 

The Anti-Bride

Email: theantibride2013@gmail.com

Twitter: @theantibride2013

Tales of A Modern Day Housewife: Baby Talk An Open Discussion?

     "The Fiance" and I are in a good place. Things have made a 165 degree turn from earlier this year. We haven't made a complete 180 degree turn. BUT we are turning towards the right direction, and I am noticing a difference in scenery. 

     If you recall around the spring time my life was somewhat at a standstill. There was so much doubt, and so many things that were unknown. There is still some doubt, and still things that are unknown but nowhere near the magnitude of where it was before. I'm proud of that. We worked really hard. 

     With that being said we have been having the "baby talk." Having the "baby talk" is a huge step for me. I am a reformed "I don't ever want to have kids, EVER EVER EVER" person. Now that I am older, and I genuinely like the person that I am becoming I really want to see more people who share some of my character traits, wisdom, genes, knowledge, etc. As narcissistic as it sounds I think the world would be a better place if there were more people like me in it!  

     I said all that to say this. After having spent several months as a "Housewife in Training" I think I have an idea of what it would be like to have kids...... AND I'm all for it.

     I don't want to have kids tomorrow or anything like that. BUT, "The Fiance" and I have been talking about when would be the right timing for children. We have come to an agreement and we're pretty happy with it. Now that we have a solid plan I think it's better if we keep it private. 

     My personal opinion on my parenting skills is that I think I would be a great mom. Why?? Because I'm an AMAZING adoptive mother to all seven of my Cabbage Patch Kids. Xavier Roberts would be so proud. 

     I am not kidding when I say I honestly believe that motherhood/parenthood starts at adolescence. I think how you treated your Cabbage Patch Kid when you were younger, says a lot about how you treat your kids. 

     I think all humans have this parental instinct that's in us. We are all quick to judge whether or not someone is a going to be a good parent based on whatever we believe a good parent is. The truth is I've seen motherhood and fatherhood really change some people for the better, and I've seen it make others spiral out of control. Knowing how judgemental people can be, including myself, I think the "Baby Talk" is something couples should keep quiet. Having a Town Hall meeting with all of your family and friends on Facebook discussing "yeah we're trying to get pregnant" is just a recipe for disaster.

     I admire the couples who are strong enough, or excited enough whichever, to tell people their plans for getting pregnant. On the contrary I know myself. Right now where I am in life, being in my late 20's approaching early 30's, is that I'm not trying to hear anything from anyone about anything. I am more sensitive now than I ever was before. 

     I guess now that I am getting married and will eventually have a family of my own....... and everything that comes a long with it. (You know your own house, your own dogs and cats, your own cars, your own EVERYTHING!) Those maternal instincts kick in because now I'm going to be the Matriarch of a clan. (Wow just thought about Game of Thrones!) I just feel like I have something that I need to protect. 

     In closing, when I think about my emotions when it comes to my future family I know that is a sensitive topic. I often wonder if I am sensitive or am I just really protective? I dunno, but what I do know is that I'm keeping my "baby talk" to myself.

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bride 

Email: theantbride2013@gmail.com

Twitter: @theantibride2013 

Personal Post: The Anti-Bride 2013 On The Government Shutdown

    I try to shy away from current events. I want to keep my blog light hearted and most importantly stick to the topic at hand MY WEDDING. But life still happens during the wedding process. So I have to vent and get some things off my chest about this whole Government Shutdown.

    Seriously, can you believe this?

     I’m so happy that I waited a few hours before typing this post. If I typed this post early this morning as intended you would have thought very differently of me. It’s the afternoon, and I am in a much much much calmer place. I have had some time to relax and take things in.

    I’m still very disturbed by this whole Government Shutdown thing. I am somewhat really disturbed by the nonchalant way in which people are reacting to it. Not sure where you are, but here in NYC people are talking about it but it’s not a HUGE deal. When I think Government shutdown I think

Fallout Shelter

I think prepare like a hurricane is coming

I think this is the big one, Armageddon is here

    It hasn’t been like that all. It’s really just been business as usual. This is so mind boggling to me because it’s truly going against everything I was taught from like….. I dunno… BIRTH!!

    

    In history, social studies, and our US Government classes in school we are taught to trust in our Government and elected officials. We’re taught they’re our leaders. In my mind it’s like we are playing a game of flag football and the Government Officials are the Referees.

    With that being said …... we’re seriously going to keep playing this game without Refs??? Like hold on…. wait… who’s keeping score?

    I’m just so disturbed by this.

    I am also disturbed by the issue at hand causing the “shutdown,” which is health care. It’s just really really really really really hard for me to grasp that in THIS century and in THIS Country the Government still cannot come to an agreement on caring for citizens health.

    I don’t want to go too far into my personal beliefs on this topic. What I will say regarding my beliefs is this………. I don’t believe you can consider yourself to be a progressive country if your government cannot come to an amicable agreement on two things:

1. Food
2. Caring for the health and well being of it’s citizens

    Forget religion, forget race, or sexual orientation or any of that other stuff. In my opinion if the leadership of a nation cannot agree on how to feed its people and/or how to care for its people there is a HUGE problem. Regardless of where you stand on the issues of health care -- the fact that the leaders of THESE UNITED STATES have allowed this debate to spin so far out of control that the ONLY solution is to “shutdown” the Government says a whole lot. The fact that citizens of this Country are not going hard on every social media outlet available to voice their opinions about this says a lot as well.

    Don’t get me started on the whole  “what are we supposed to do??” whine. Remember back in 2009 when Twitter almost “shutdown” when Michael Jackson died. Now that’s public shock and outrage.

    The world went nuts for weeks. Brian Williams was quoting TMZ on NBC Nightly News. It was a REALLY REALLY big deal for quite some time. They interrupted regular television to report that. Michael Jackson had his own icon on the scroll ticker thing at the bottom of the TV. I am a child of the 80’s so I believe that reaction was just. But I also believe that there should be a public reaction to this as well. The fact that there isn’t a huge public reaction to this Government Shutdown really shows where we are as a Country.

    In closing, I believe that we are in a very scary place in this Country. Every generation in this Country  has dealt with their share of very scary and difficult stuff. What makes this time so difficult and so scary is the illusion that everything is okay. There are people who truly believe that thing aren’t as bad off as they are, and that’s very scary.

    For me there is no worse fear than fear of the unknown. During what we deem to have been the most difficult times in this country everything was so clear. Things were so black and white LITERALLY! We knew WHO the racist WERE and WHERE they WERE. We knew WHO the poor WERE and WHERE they WERE. We knew WHO the crooks WERE and WHERE they WERE. We wanted to be more progressive so we encouraged the belief system of integration and equality (which of course is a good thing).

    Now that we are becoming more and more of an integrated society we don’t know who’s who. It’s so hard because you can live right next door to a person and their “reality” is different from your “reality.” So we carry on as business as usual, so much so that The Government of the United States of America has decided not to do carry on business and everything is okay. Yeah I don’t know about you but I’m kinda scared.