Home Sick = Guest List

     Where to begin.... 

     It seems that I have found myself in yet another 'mini-crisis.' I've been having some pain in my back and torso area for a little while now, but charged it to many things including:

• stress
• needing a new mattress
• overworking myself
• not having an arch in either foot, and maybe needing to wear better shoes
  

      With school starting on Aug. 28th, and every penny going to this wedding and life in general - getting sick just wasn't an option. This past Thursday the pain got worse, and I requested to go home a little early from work so that I can see my doctor in the morning (remember I work night shift). 

     One thing about working in a hospital is you can't really fake being sick for too long. When one of the nurses in charge tried to touch me to see where the pain was, I broke down in tears. Naturally this led to me being sent downstairs to the ER. In the ER I was given morphine, and there was talks of admitting me for pain management. 

     After running a CAT scan, and getting a very limited diagnoses in the ER, I was sent home with prescriptions for pain meds and referred to my primary doctor ASAP. Being high off morphine, and completely out of it, I decided to go straight home and return to the doctor Friday morning. 

      I went to the doctor Friday, and I received referrals for 3 specialist AND I'm out of work for at least a week pending diagnosis.

     The timing of all of this is AWFUL, but I understand the importance of taking care of yourself. This is one of the main reasons why I chose to get out of the freelance/journalism/media/entertainment industry and/or business. With my current job, even being brand spanking new, I have so many options that I didn't have before with regards to job security and health related issues. 

     While it's going to get even tighter financially than it already is, I'm grateful. Things could be a lot worse. I usually hate when people say that, but I've lived it so I know.

      This weekend I was in bed.

      I thought to myself, 'well now would be the best time to finalize the master guest list.' I needed to order my invitations over a week ago, and since I decided on the invitations... Why not get the list together??!!?

      After finding addresses that were written on random scraps of papers, sent via text messages, emails, and Facebook messages I was able to get 90% of everything onto an EXCEL spreadsheet. According to the spreadsheet we have roughly 100 invitations to be mailed out, and approximately 200 guests to accompany. The problem is we are guaranteed at the venue for 100 guests.

     Yeah, so I think we may have a little bit of a problem. I'm not stressing it too much, mainly because we've been planning this wedding for a long time. There are a lot of people who are invited, but to be honest we don't even talk to them anymore. 

     I've had a few days to think about it, and I'm still not really stressed. While there are a lot of people who are invited, but I am 99% sure that EVERYONE will not be coming. 

    In closing, time will tell how this all plays about. But I'm still not stressing it. 

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bride

Email:   theantibride2013@gmail.com

Twttier: @theantibride2013

    

I Want To Give A Shout-Out To All Of My Ex's

     I MAY very well be TOO much of a skeptic, or reaching a little far on this one

BUT....

     It doesn't fully sit well with me when I see women in healthy and happy relationships - - whether it be fully committed, engaged, or married - - give a "shout-out" OR make any acknowledgment of their past relationships via social media. To me, it just isn't a good look.

     I recently decided to take a break from my personal social media activities. I do have to go on Facebook from time to time because I'm finalizing the Master Guest List for the wedding.

     (Don't worry the post on that MESS will be up shortly) 

     So, I go on Facebook this past weekend to message friends and family the whole "Hey, did you move yet?" "What's your new address?" routine. FUN RIGHT? - NOT!!!!

Later on in the day I log back in, because I refuse to link any of my personal social media accounts to my phone -TOO DISTRACTING-, and I noticed a post on my timeline from a newlywed that expressed gratitude and thanks to her ex's. BECAUSE if it wasn't for them, them being the ex's, she wouldn't have been able to find the one that she was meant to be with.

     Now it was said in a MUCH MUCH classier way than how I put it. This person's post involved thanks to the LORD. It received a lot of "Like's" because it came off very testimonial. 

    BUT....

     Despite how it was put it still didn't sit well with me. 

    Much like how the cronut doesn't sit well with me either....

    Shoot, it has taken me about a decade to accept that the McGriddle is here to stay. 

     Change has never really been my thing.

But I digress.

     I think that all women have that Beyonce - Best Thing I Never Had moment. 

     That moment when you say to yourself, "Thank God I dodged that bullet." And you literally mean that. You literally Thank God that you didn't stick with that ex-boyfriend.

     And I think that's what you should say. I think you should express how happy you are, express how thankful you are to God for the current man in your life, express how "wow this could have gone in a whole 'nother direction!" Express all of that! I think that once you literally put the word "Ex" or "Ex's" in the mix then it just goes left. 

    I don't know if I have really proven my point so hear me out for a second. I think I can give a little more clarity by using myself as an example.

     None of my past relationship have ended with me not speaking to the other party for eternity. I am cordial with ALL of my ex-boyfriends. I am connected to ALL of my ex-boyfriends via one social media account or another. NOW I do not communicate with all of them on a regular basis. I can get in contact with all of them, and they can get in contact with me if either of us choose. (That rarely happens.) 

     I mentioned my connection to my ex's because this is the direction that the world is going in. It's becoming more and more impossible to cut off all communication with people ESPECIALLY if you have mutual contacts.

     I remember when I "got engaged" - or rather The Fiance' and I picked our first wedding date - and I started to tell my friends the first things out of "some" of their mouths was 

• "what did (inset ex-boyfriend's name here) say"
• "are you still cool with (insert ex-boyfriend's name here)"
• "are you going to invite (insert ex-boyfriend's name here) to your wedding"
• "does your Fiance' know about (insert ex-boyfriend's name here)"

     

     I couldn't be mad at my friends because when I find out some I know is getting married those are some of the questions I ask myself.

     I'm not a relationship expert, life coach, psychologist, or psychiatrist. I'm just regular girl with a blog, and a lot of opinions! With that being said, and BEING A GIRL approaching her 30's I've lived my life. I do know what it's like to have a relationship end not so well. To see an ex move on with someone else in front of your face. And even to experience a little public humiliation with an ex. 

      And again BEING A GIRL APPROACHING HER 30'S I know a thing or two about having all of this play out on social media. Having to put on your big girl panties and not block the "new girl" on Facebook or Twitter. Having to swallow your pride and connect with an Ex on LinkedIn because he's well connected and you need a job. And trying desperately to not stalk their new life on Instagram.

DAMMIT IT'S HARD!

  BUT....

     When you move on with your life AND you are now in a happy and healthy relationship AND you no longer feel that sting when that person pops up on your Timeline AND you truly stop caring. I find it to be very unfair for your PRESENT RELATIONSHIP for you to even remotely make reference to anything that could be related to a past relationship. 

    I don't know it just seems a bit petty. 

    In closing, one thing about communication is that it's not always about what you mean, but more about how its perceived. On the flip side you can't control how people perceive what you mean. I guess that's why so many people have no filter!

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bride

Email: theantibride2013@gmail.com

Twitter: @theantibride2013

Wait Loss or Weight Loss

     It has been a busy summer. 

     How busy do you ask? - So busy that I didn't even have time to realize that I was busy! Yup!!!! THAT BUSY!!!

     We are officially in mid-August, and school starts back up for me on the 28th. I got a new job; which I started the first week of June. No, it wasn't one of the positions that I was offered or interviewed for during in the "Grow Up And Get A Job" post. I actually work the overnight shift as a clerk/secretary/admin (yep, I can be referred to by any of these titles, depending on who you ask) in the ICU at one of the hospitals here in NYC. It's a very intense introduction to the medical industry.

      But, I digress. That's a whole 'nother post. The point for me mentioning my new job is to basically emphasize how busy I've been. Beginning a new job is draining. But when said job means processing patient EXPIRATION forms (Expiration = Death).... yeah..... that's kinda a new feeling that I haven't quite gotten used to yet!

      On top of starting a new job, in a completely foreign industry... I was also taking summer intensive courses. I took 3 courses over a 2 term period. So I would literally go to class after watching someone die.... 

       Talk about draining. After school, then work, I would get home and I would be feeling a lot like this:

      As far as my grades go, I was hoping to get a 3-peat from the grades I received during the spring semester. 2-A's and 1-B. Or even better straight A's!!!! Instead, I earned myself 1-B+, 1-B-, and 1-C. I don't like C's, but hey I'll take it. Seeing as though this isn't grad school yet, 1 C will do. I just cannot make another. 

     So now I absolutely know my limitations. I know where the line is, and I know what will happen if I cross it. I know when to push myself, and I know when to fall back. 

     Now that things are starting to settle down with work, and I have a much better understanding of how this whole work/school juggling thing goes

     I really want to start focusing my attention on shedding those last few pounds before the wedding. 

     My intentions are to go for my dress fitting the 2nd week in September. So I have a little under 5 weeks to "make it work" in my Tim Gunn voice. I think in order to "MAKE IT WORK" I'm going to have to commit to a drastic lifestyle change. 

     Throughout the summer I have been dabbling here and there on different diet and exercise regimens. All in all I've lost 12 pounds, and several inches. I know that it is definitely possible to lose more weight, but I have concerns.

My concerns are the following:

• Should I incorporate "The Fiance"
• Should I keep this a complete secret from everyone - other than those who read this blog CLEARLY
• Will this change me

     Time will tell. 

BUT

     I am really motivated, and I think that's a really really good start!

     In closing, being busy isn't a bad thing if it's planned right. Scheduling and time management is key, and figuring out productive things to do during my downtime is going to be the most important thing. When I'm trying to rest my brain I usually "veg out" in front of the TV. That lazy bug, is my biggest weakness!

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bride
Email: theantibride2013@gmail.com

Twitter: @antibride2013