As a once hardworking American who got up every
day to go to my 9-5.
There was that summer I interned and worked
8-8. Oh and let’s not forget the days that I worked 10am-midnight as a
consultant.
Well let’s just say I dreamed of the day when
I could stay at home.
When that day unexpectedly came I didn’t
know what to do. I wasn’t ready mentally. I got up at 5:30am, because that’s
what time I started my workday. At 6:00am I realized that there was no work, oh
so I thought.
After getting past the “woe is me,” “who
am I without a job” feeling I started to work on the disaster relief efforts
that was, and still is, getting my home in order. One thing about my home that
I HATE, is it has no
personality. It’s just a shell of a home. Really any family can live there.
Based off the picture frames in my living room with the “staged family”
pictures still in them ……I don’t know if I live there at times.
One of my first stay at home tasks was to
give my home some character. I am no Martha Stewart. In fact me and home décor is
about as awkward as that short lived interior design show former NFL star
Keyshawn Johnson had on A&E.
Oh it was an awful show! I ABSOLUTELY love Keyshawn
Johnson, but that design show was hard to take seriously. Whenever there was
any type of issue Keyshawn would solve it by plastering some type of USC
memorably in these people’s house.
Who does that???
Wait I can see myself doing the same
thing. Let me have my way and our house would have velvet leopard print walls,
a red kitchen, and a purple chandelier in the bedroom.
I am being sarcastic. The point that I am
trying to make is I don’t know what I am doing. Here’s a little story about how
I tried unsuccessfully to bring character to our bedroom.
I purchased a curtain rod, and a light
weight drill. I saw some gorgeous drapes at IKEA. The plan was to install the
curtain rod, and order the drapes. This seemed like an easy enough task.
I put on my “Tim the Tool Man Taylor”
outfit and attempted to get to work. There was some malfunction with the drill,
and the hole was barely piercing into the wall. I had it all covered. I was
just going to use a hammer, and pierce the wall. Once a hole was created I
could use my drill to finish the task. I’m a genius!
I walk past the “Hubby-To-Be” feeling
confident with my chest puffed out. His entire arm is deep in a Family Size bag
of Lays potato chips. He looks at me with the hammer and my “Tool-Time” getup
and asks calmly…… “what are you doing?”
I explain to him what happened. When I get
to the part about piercing the wall with the hammer he walks over, places the
chips down on the table, and grabs the hammer from me. This takes place all
while I am still talking.
I decide to try to explain it in a
different way. He talks over me and says, “yeah no, you’re not doing that.”
My face started to get hot. I wasn’t even
finished explaining. I stopped talking and there was a pause for about 10 to 15
seconds. I tried to gather my thoughts. During the dramatic silence he
continued to shake his head from side to side mouthing the word NO slowly. I
broke the silence with a sharp feisty “NO, BUT WHY!!??”
“Why??” he said. “Why, because you’re not
going to take a hammer to an exterior concrete wall. It doesn’t work like that.”
He explained to me how I needed a special bit to drill into concrete and blah
blah blah blah. He made me promise not to use power tools again without
supervision. He said our apartment is really old, and making minor adjustments
and repairs could cause major damage.
I agreed but I was determined to figure out
a way to make this work! A few months later I went to Home Depot and received a
consultation on how to perform this “simple task.” I also purchased some paint
to paint our bathroom.
My plan was to install the curtain rod
using the proper tools, and then paint my bathroom. WELLLLLLLL things didn’t go
exactly according to plan. It took 4 hours to drill 2 little holes into the
wall. I kept rotating from the first hole to the second. Why??? I don’t know it
just seemed like a good idea at the time. I reached a part in the wall that
wasn’t concrete but wood. The drill went completely through. Oh but I didn’t
stop there. I thought maybe this was just on that part of the wall. I continued
drilling the second hole only to reach the same wood part in the wall. I ended
up having to plug in the holes.
I was
so exhausted, discouraged, and irritated. I took a shower and surfed the
internet for shoes. Later on I posted my “Shoes, Shoes, and More Shoes – My Wedding
Shoe Choices http://iamtheantibride2013.blogspot.com/2013/09/shoes-shoes-and-more-shoes-my-wedding.html” It had been a long day, and I had
learned a valuable lesson.
Closing words, boy was “The Fiance” right!!
I learned to trust my spouse.
Sincerely,
The
Anti-Bride 2013
Email:
theantibride2013@gmail.com
Twitter:
@theantibride2013
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