Personal Update: Beware Of The Fall Lazy Bug!!!

     I have been MIA for the past week, and I apologize. I set out on a mission/challenge, where I was going to post a new blog everyday for the entire month of September…… WELL……… Yeah, that kinda did not happen.

     I’m back, and I think I caught a little bit of what I call The Fall Lazy Bug.

     I liken The Fall Lazy Bug to that cusp right before the common cold becomes the FLU or Pneumonia. The Fall Lazy Bug is something you can shake if it’s properly diagnosed and treated. I use the common cold analogy because we have ALL been there. When you’re sneezing and coughing and you blame it on the change in the weather or sleeping without socks. You say to yourself I’ll take an Emergen-C, drink some tea, go to bed a little earlier tonight, and I’ll be fine. Yeah……. well one thing leads to another which leads to “US” having the FLU or something worse.

     The Fall Lazy Bug isn’t a medical thing. It’s basically a self control and organization thing. The fall time much like spring time is a transition period. In the fall things are getting back to normal and settling from the summer.  That transition from summer to fall can be a little exhausting. The transition was especially exhausting for me because I decided at the VERY END of the summer to start all of these “projects.” Of course I couldn’t wait until one project was finished before starting another NOOOOOOO that makes too much sense. ME being ME I had to overlap my projects. Since I’m not working I wanted to “take advantage of all that free time.”

My Project List:

1.   Blog a day in September

2.   20 Day Detox

3.   Attending writing workshops to find my writing “voice”

4.   Paint, and decorate my bathroom

5.   Apply for a “specific” college program (applications, transcripts, fees, financial aid, grants, scholarships etc)

6.   Research and apply for temporary jobs, and/or contract jobs with flexible schedules

7.   Renegotiating contracts for new wedding date

8.   Tracking down my wedding dress

9.   Sending out Postponement Announcements

10.               Setting up a wedding website on theknot.com

11.               Daily maintaining household duties (cooking, cleaning, organizing etc) and all the crap that comes up last minute

     Can you take a guess which was the first thing that I didn’t do???
 

  

     Yeah that didn’t happen. Everything else did happen within the span from mid August until now.

     My list doesn’t seem like a lot, especially when you factor in that I’m not working. HOWEVER all of those duties are emotionally draining, and come with the great task of managing other’s personalities. The hardest task on my list was dealing with the response and feedback regarding changing the wedding date. We didn’t receive any flat out negative responses. We did get a lot of weird subliminal responses. Being 100% honest I think “The Fiance” and I lost a lot of credibility for changing our date. (That’s a subject matter for a post for a later date!!)

     I realized that I had The Lazy Bug last night. I realized I had it when I tried to diagnose “The Hubby-To-Be” with the bug. A light bulb went off in my mind. I was thinking okay if he has it he had to have gotten it from me, and I was right. “The Hubby-To-Be” has it kind of bad. He is borderline going into an early case of  Winter Mind Hibernation. Winter Mind Hibernation is when the mind completely goes on hiatus during the winter. The person basically goes into auto pilot. This happens a lot with men around the Holidays. You end up giving them lists, because they have checked out.

    My Lazy Bug symptoms are not seeing things through completely, and not following any kind of format. Despite having The Lazy Bug things are getting done.  The turnover is just so long. I have 3 loads of clean clothes that have been sitting in the bin ready to be folded for almost one week. I still have 4, rather small, tasks to complete in my bathroom. Other small jobs like hanging up new curtains in our bedroom, and organizing the second bedroom.

     It’s looking like I will be starting back to work in a little less than a month!!! (Yay!!!) So it’s time to snap out of it.

 

     In closing, throughout this “wedding planning” process I am learning so much about myself. One thing that I am learning is how badly I am affected by others. I’m not just affected by people’s words, but also their actions, their energy, and their subliminal saying without saying reactions. Trying to not be phased by others is an ongoing struggle for me. BUT I do see some progress. If I keep up the good work things will get better.

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bride 2013
Email: theantibride2013@gmail.com

Twitter: @theantibride2013

Flower Power: Alternatives For My Flower Issues

     I LOVE FLOWERS!!! A bouquet of flowers makes me oh so happy.

     While on one side I love flowers, on the other side the presence of naked flower stems really turns me off.

     What I have deemed the “naked flower stem bouquet” look isn’t really my thing.

    It’s one of my weird quirks where I don’t mind it for others, but I do mind it for myself. I just have this feeling that a spider or fire ant or some other venomous creepy crawly is going to climb down and bite me.

     I know the likelihood of that happening is slim to none but it still makes me itch. One solution to this problem is the bouquet holder. So here are my top 3 favorite bouquet holders.

     1.)

 

     2.)

     3.)

    In closing, I’m leaning towards a non-traditional bouquet. As I stated before I LOVE LOVE flowers, but I do take issue with paying a bunch of money for flowers that I’m going to give away to someone else. (I.E. tossing the bouquet.) My wedding planner suggested that I request my florist to make a separate bouquet for me to toss. Great so I’m going to pay extra money to throw flowers at people. Yeahhhh no!!! That's not happening.

   

   Firstly, I am thinking about having custom made brooch bouquet. So I want to keep my bouquet. Secondly, I was planning on giving the second bouquet to my twin sissy. I never had any intentions on tossing flowers. Once again we shall see how this all turns out.

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bride 2013

Email: theantibride2013@gmail.com
Twitter: @theantibride2013

A Tired Bride...Wait Anti-Bride...Oh Heck You Know What I Mean

     Wow these last few days I have been on 10 every, single, day. I am soooo tired. For the past seven months that I have been unemployed I have looked into, and taken advantage of every resource that I could. After months of waiting, giving up, believing again, getting bored, and then forfeiting and completely forgetting about the process, things are starting to "work out." 

     I'm happy, because I am FINALLY in the moment. I'm soaking it all up as it's happening. That's why I'm not so quick to explain what is going on. Not that I'm trying to hide anything, but I want to be in the moment for now and enjoy it. "Being in the moment" is sooo exhausting. I haven't worked for real in quite sometime. The last three days have been a challenge for me. So you have to forgive me again for not posting a whole lot. I'm just tired.

     There was wedding stuff that has taken place today like:

• My dress has arrived, and will be sent to me.
• I had a conference call with wedding planner and we have agreed to disagree on the photographer situation.
• Came to the realization that I have a weird OCD thing when it comes to the naked stems of flowers. I'm kind of "weirded-out" by the thought of carrying a bouquet. I feel like flowers belong in the ground or in a vase.
• And I don't think it makes sense to pay a whole bunch of money for flowers that you're going to give away to someone else. The other option is pay for a second bouquet. Again I'm paying money to throw flowers to somebody else. So now you want me to pay to throw flowers? I just think it's kind of stupid to throw flowers. 
• People are getting their postponement announcements, and I'm getting positive feedback. 

     And more stuff that I will go more into details later. For now I just need to go to bed! 

     Closing words, I don't have much to say for today. Until next time.

The Anti-Bride 2013
Email: theantibride2013@gmail.com
Twitter: @theantibride2013

The Unemployed Bride: It Takes More Than Prayer Alone To Change Your Situation

     **Kind of a serious topic so there are no pictures.**

     I’m going to start this post by saying it is 3:47 am. UMM yeah……

     I have been mentioning things here and there about my unemployment situation in some of my more recent posts. I have been trying to be mindful not to mention it in ALL of my posts. Being unemployed is one of the reasons why I started blogging so it is an important factor to this blog. With that being said - - the real point of this blog is my “bridal” story. I wanted to be sure that I did not OVER saturate the blog with my unemployment woes.

     If you are wondering why I cut back on talking about my job search well……I was at a place where being the “Unemployed Bride” was all I could think of. I felt like an absolute failure. It wasn’t a good feeling.

     Now I am in a MUCH MUCH MUCH better place. I still think about my “unemployment status” daily, but I don’t dwell on it as I did before. What changed? To be honest…… I received a much needed break financially. I will not go into details, but what I will say is that I am very very lucky (and/or blessed whichever way you go). Without that financial break I know I would have still been in a really unhappy place.

     People aren’t always candid or honest or forth coming regarding getting a break or getting help. I believe in privacy, but I think it is important to share with others who are following your story “hey I got a break.” I shared this in one of my older posts that it’s encouraging for people to hear that you got a break. Yes, there will be people who are jealous, or may long and want the same things for themselves. But it still is encouraging to hear.

    As I said earlier my attitude changed, and I am happier now. I feel more at ease, and I feel more like myself. Going through this situation I’m witnessing that A LOT of people will give you misleading reasons for things “getting better” for them. Or they will credit everything to “prayer” and “God.” This bothers me a lot.

     Hear me out first, before deeming me an atheist. By crediting everything to “prayer” and “God” I mean I hate when people leave out “the work” that they put in. For example you and a friend may both be unemployed. Suddenly she gets a job. You’re happy for her and you ask “Wow congratulations! How did you get your job?” You’re friend says, “I prayed, I meditated, and put out positive energy and I was blessed with this opportunity.”

    Your friend never says: I filled out 150 resumes a day. I went to a career counselor. I networked 4 times a month. I went to workshops to build my skills, and networked there. One of my Uncle’s best friends that I met at a BBQ on the 4^th of July needed someone who specialized in accounting really bad.  

     When all of these details are left out, you’re left feeling like “All she did was pray, meditate, and think positive hmmm I must be doing something wrong.” Not to discount prayer, meditation, and thinking happy thoughts. But all of the other things also played a huge role as well.

     I’m somewhat of a private person. I hate being judged. I’m learning what to say, what not to say, who to say it to, and who not to say it to. You don’t have to tell a person every detail of what you did to get a job. But what’s wrong with saying “I filled out hundreds of resumes, I prayed, meditated, and I was blessed with this opportunity.”  

     Hearing the God-Honest-Truth is inspiring. I remember once I worked for a company in an “entry level” temporary position. (Never mind the fact that all of the entry level candidates had years of experience and 50% had master degrees.) The position had an option for full time employment. One of the women that I worked with was really religious, and I really admired that. The job was tough, and we all got discouraged A LOT. The culture of the company was “highly” competitive.

     I became close with this woman. We ate lunch together, and she would always speak about how “blessed” we all were to have this opportunity. Even after meetings when we all thought we were going to get fired, she would let us gripe but then quote a scripture. We got paid peanuts, and we all had made crazy sacrifices to be there. I remember there came a time when I had decided that I was going to quit. I couldn’t afford working there anymore, and I wasn’t going to get promoted anytime soon.

     When I spoke to her about it she took me out to lunch. When we were at lunch she told me how much she hated the job as well. She had her faith and she prayed a lot to prevent her from quitting. She went on to tell me how she had to take out a loan in order to be able to afford to work there. She hoped that she would get promoted before her AMEX card reached its limit.

     When word started to travel around our little office that I was quitting more people started to share their woes. Another colleague of mine told me how he had recently moved into a subsidized housing complex. He could no longer afford to live in his condo. Ironically one other male colleague shared with me that he was moving in with different colleague in our office. They thought it would be easy to split the rent.

     Before speaking with my co-workers about my plans to leave I thought I was doing something wrong. I was miserable, stressed, broke, and a whole lot of other things. Some of the people I worked with were doing well at the job. I found myself feeling jealousy towards their success. I found myself saying “what am I doing wrong? What’s wrong with me?”

     When I heard the God-Honest-Truth it was so powerful. No, it wasn’t my business. I’m sure if I was a different type of person I could have used that information against them. But just hearing the other side, not just “prayer” “meditation” and “being positive” - - hearing “I was about to get evicted” and “I had to take out a loan” it made me feel several things. I felt:

1. Wow they really deserve their success.

2. I have so much more respect for them.

3. This isn’t the job for me because I’ll be D@MNED if I go into debt trying to keep a job. 

     In closing, while I understand why people choose to vaguely give “all praises” to God I wish we were in a society where people could be a little more candid about things.

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bride 2013

Email: theantibride2013@gmail.com

Twitter: @theantibride2013