If you were to refer back to my my first ever post on this blog (the post titled: I am the Anti-Bride 2013) you will know that My Love did not propose. In fact we decided on a date while drinking beers and watching The Voice on NBC. SOO ROMANTIC. There is very little about our relationship that screams ROMANCE. I would describe "our love" to be CUTE and REGULAR.
I like that "our love" is regular. It gives us a sense of normalcy and humanness. Being a New Yorker sometimes you get caught between the real and the superficial-ness. I discussed this in a previous post. As a New Yorker having that connection with the outside world is important to me. Whether it be volunteering, being a good neighbor, or supporting the little guy (the small business "bodega" owner, or illegally hailing a dollar cab instead of a yellow cab in Manhattan.) those small things make you regular.
When I'm not fighting the daily struggle between"good" and "evil" rather "regular" and "superficial," I'm a girl's girl. AANNDDD, being a girl's girl I do want that hint of romance in my relationship. A HUGE proposal in front of family and friends would have been a little over the top for me.
But if My Love did propose I would not have mind if it was like this:
Whenever I watch this movie all I can say is
YAS! YAS! YYYAASSS!!!!
when I see this scene. In my opinion it was probably the best proposal scene ever in a movie. It was intimate, special, romantic, and it had meaning. The proposal catered to their relationship in every way. It wasn't all pomp and circumstance. He made her feel so special, and it just was absolutely beautiful.
Even though I did not get a romantic proposal. I still have yet to have my ring presented to me. While we are going to go together to pick out our rings. I have requested a little romance when he actually presents the ring to me. So there is some hope.
In closing the Anti-Bride is hoping for some romance, go figure.
I plan on showing a different side of myself in this post. I realize that I can be a cynical person, but I am going to lay back on that for a bit. I wanted to list my DRREEEAAMMM HOOONNNNEEEYYYYMOOONNN DESSTINNATIOONNNSSSS!!!!! {I say that in my Oprah’s favorite things voice.}
I have been in a funk for the past few weeks. So I decided to concentrate on some of the fun things. What is the most fun part of the wedding process for an ANTI-BRIDE???? The honeymoon of course!! Why?!?? Because..... it marks the end of all of the crazy wedding stuff! These honeymoon destinations fit my personality best. One thing about me is I HATE being a tourist. When I go on vacation I want to adjust to the lifestyles of the area that I am visiting. I will give a brief explanation as to why I chose each place.
6. San Juan, Puerto Rico, USA
I am a New Yorker from East Harlem which is Spanish Harlem. I have many many many close family friends and neighbors from Puerto Rico. I have always wanted to travel to Puerto Rico. I feel as though it would be a very comfortable and familiar place despite never visiting there.
5. Salvador, Bahia, Brazil
Brazil is definitely a hot spot right now. With the 2016 Olympics approaching interest in Brazil is at a peak. My brother is relocating to Brazil and has visited the country several times. He fell in love with the city of Salvador. He and my sister visited Salvador a few years back and they were received so well in the city. After viewing pictures and videos of their trip, as well as, doing extensive research on my own I had to add Salvador to my list. I also plan to attend the 2016 Olympics. Honeymooning in Salvador may be a nice introduction.
4. Curacao
Curacao pronounced KEWR-ə-sow is an island that is located off the coast of Venezuela in the Caribbean. I worked briefly in travel industry, and a gentlemen sat at my desk requesting a flight to Curacao. I had never heard of the country and he was deeply offended. He gave me a brief history lesson, and for the remainder of that week I spent all of my free time researching Curacao. It's simply a beautiful island. One thing I love about Curacao is that it's not super touristy. They welcome tourists with open arms, but the people of Curacao are proud and maintain their own successful livelihood. What draws me to Curacao is the exclusiveness. It doesn't have that Disney everything is for sale feel that a lot of other Caribbean islands have. 3. Barbados
What drew me to Barbados is the same thing that drew me to Curacao the exclusiveness, and proud people. I love to go to places where the people are proud and welcome sharing their culture. I hate going to places and seeing the people have conformed to please the tourists. That's a complete sell out. It's like going to Myrtle Beach, SC and buying an I Love NY t-shirt. So corny. The difference between Barbados and the other Caribbean islands that I have listed, with the exception of Puerto Rico, is the nightlife and GAMBLING! I think if My Love and I went to Barbados we would have a swell time. The night life is superior, the weather is perfect, and the food is the bestest!!
2. Antigua, BVI
Antigua is such a chill exotic place. It's my 2nd pick for my dream honeymoon. My family on my mother's side are from Antigua, and some of them still live there. I have never visited the island nor do I know them. But that would not stop me from meeting them and swooping in to pick up a wedding gift. TACKY!! I would love to go to Antigua for my Honeymoon. Having roots there is a plus. Anytime you travel to a place and meet family for the first time it's always so much fun. They take you everywhere and introduce you to everyone. Of course I would not turn my Honeymoon into a family reunion. We would of course stay at a resort. But if you had family in paradise wouldn't you want to take advantage of that??!!??? 1. Durban, South Africa
This may come as a HUGE shock but yes my number one dream honeymoon vacation destination is Durban, South Africa. Although the weather in November may not be 80 degrees and up like Antigua it still is number one in my eyes. Back in 2010 when I took my first jab at graduate school I took an Olympics Game class. I know kind of random... In the class we had to break into groups and campaign for our city to have to bid for the 2016 Olympics. I chose Durban, South Africa as my host city. I spent 10 weeks doing extensive research on Durban and fell in love with it. I even looked into job opportunities in Durban, and thought heavily about relocating there. My mom deaded that idea! Nevertheless I still love the city. Everything you can dream of in one vacation Durban has. Beautiful beaches, sailing, great food, art and culture, and Durban is an hour away from Safari's. What more can you ask for??!!?? That completes my list. Time will tell if I visit any of these places on my list. I will keep you guys posted! Anti-Bride 2013
You read the title correctly. Yes I am not proud of it but it is true I wanted to give up. First let me clarify. When I say give up I don’t mean not marry MY LOVE. That is a bit harsh. But I did want to call off the wedding. The stress is starting to brew, and I worry that I will not be able to handle it.
My personal life is my number one priority right now. As you guys know I am still technically unemployed. I did get a job offer, but the details and outcome from that I will save for another post. Let’s just say for now I am still actively looking for permanent employment with an employer I will be happy and proud to work for. I am a firm believer in positive energy and what you put out is what you get back. I know for a fact that EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY. I am also very confident that I will find exactly what I am looking for. I just need to stay positive, stay calm, and stay focused.
Easier said than done!!!
I have not been seeing eye to eye with my parents and it is starting to have an effect on my relationship. After a nice talk with my hunny and what I will call “divine intervention” or “signs” I decided to nip the bad stuff in the bud. I have distanced myself from my parents a bit. Though it is tough and at times hurtful it is something I must do. I am realizing that there is a strong need to build some boundaries.
What kind of pushed me over the edge was finding out something that a regular bride already knows. I had NO IDEA that it takes approximately 6 months for your bridal gown to be “ready to wear.” Disclaimer: I’m going to be a bit crass for the next few sentences you can skip down to avoid it.
This is probably the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life. I have seen houses be built faster than 6 months. Why on earth would you sell a product that you cannot guarantee will be available when the person needs it? Hell I was born premature at 7 months. So what you are telling me it takes around the same amount of time to make a dress as it took for me to develop. Six months is just totally disrespectful to a person’s time. So you want me to buy something now and wait 6 months for it to be ready… are you out of your freaking mind. There are so many things that can happen between the time you order the dress and the time you get it. And I do not mean a wedding being called off. I mean something like a hurricane, a fire, you change jobs, you get a rare stomach virus and lose 80 pounds, you relocate etc etc. Four weeks I can see, 6 weeks I can see, but 6 months is just completely moronic. I hate that in order for me to get the dress that I want I have to subscribe to this idiotic way of doing things.
Hearing that my dress will take possibly 6 months for it to be ready really made me want to give up. I am in the middle of this whole transformation thing. I am starting to feel good, and I am starting to see minor results from my new regimens. I really thought everything was going to come together. My plan was to order my dress in the beginning of July. I figured my dress would probably arrive late August or mid-September at the latest. I felt like my final alterations would be done in October. Because that makes sense. BOY WAS I EVER WRONG!!
I am not ready to buy a wedding dress now. I am not just unprepared financially I am not ready emotionally to purchase a wedding dress. There are so many other things that are more important in my life right now than buying a dress. There are so many other things that I feel I must do to prepare to become somebody’s wife before I buy a dress. I mean do these other women get these wedding dresses 8 months before their wedding and hang them up in their hallway closest? Because that makes more sense....
I was upset about it at first. A part of me thought that I should try to figure this out and figure that out so I can order the dress so it can be ready. Then I had to take check out for a second. When I checked back in I decided that I am not going to buy that dress now. It makes no sense. I really am not ready to buy the dress for the reasons that I said. I cannot start conforming now. When I am ready to buy the dress I will buy it. If I have to pay extra I will pay extra so whatever. But I am not going to lose sleep over it.
With that said I am rethinking this whole 3 dresses scenario. If one dress is this much of a headache I doubt I will be purchasing two more. I will just let it flow.
So I have been in a little fog lately. The past 5 days have been an overcast for me. By that I mean I have great moments throughout the day but overall I have been in a funk. This week "MyLove" and I went on a few dates, and I have been working on wedding stuff.
I am a little stressed. I understand the things I’m concerned about are out of my control. I
think I have said this a million times and I will say it again. I am not
against weddings. I just hate the planning and preparation process. To
make matters worse I am currently knee deep in it. My mom is hosting a bridal shower for me at the end of June. My mom lives out of state so basically I have been doing the pre-planning, and then she’s going to take over.
What’s been getting me down is that I’ve come to the realization of something. Not only am I an “Anti-Bride” but I am a NYC Anti-Bride! Now do you feel my pain?
NYC is such a superficial place. I am a native New Yorker. I am from Manhattan and everything. I have also been blessed to spend a number of years living outside of the city. My opinion of my hometown is that IT IS THE BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD.
BUT…. it’s not always worth the headache.
I may step on a few toes by mentioning this because it’s such an opinionated and generalized statement which is not always best. Yeah, but I will mention it anyways. The people most responsible for making New York City so superficial are the transplants. The men and women who move to NYC from places like Oregon and Nebraska. They have Carrie Bradshaw dreams of being stylish and social.
Or working in finance and being a lady killer like Neil Patrick Harris character on How I Met Your Mother.
They get here to New York, and realize that it's a tough place. Unless you have millions you're going to have to work, and work hard. Hard work may mean instead of getting that high end fashion job, you're working at a bridal shop that is unlisted on yelp. Or instead of working in finance on Wall Street, you are a server at a grill in Battery Park City.
"Tell em' why you're made moment in 3..2..1.."
I am an anti-bride but I still want to have an elegant, and intimate wedding ceremony. I still want to have a fun, and let my hair down while enjoying the music at my reception. And since I am a good girl, and great daughter I still want to allow my mother the opportunity to give me a classy bridal shower D*MNIT!
So hey you! Yeah you! Reject Neil Patrick Harris when I call your restaurant to inquire about reserving group space for my bridal shower don’t take it out on me because Ernst and Young hasn’t emailed you back for a job interview and you are working at the hostess stand. And you fake Carrie Bradshaw don’t take your frustration out on me because I found my BIG and you haven’t found yours, and you’re working at a bridal shop!!
My Personal Beef With The World
Okay I may be coming off a bit harsh. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I am a hot mess right now. I seriously hate the term “hot mess,” but that’s the best way to describe myself. I will admit that I have let myself go. I neglected every regimen that I spent years crafting. Hair regimen… neglected; results split ends and damaged hair. Skin regimen… neglected; results oily-pimply-troubled skin. Food and exercise regimen…neglected; results gained 40 lbs and out of shape.
In the superficial place that I call home I should know better. I literally walked into a bridal shop with jeans, t-shirt, and neither care in the world nor entourage in tow. My hair was up in a bun, and I just wanted to try on one dress. The pretty, not to mention dangerously skinny, girl working at the bridal shop did not welcome me with open arms. The customer service she gave me was equivalent to what you receive ordering a sandwich at Subway. I received better service at H&M. Next, I called a restaurant that has a celebrity backing on a Wednesday (which is notoriously known as inventory day at any restaurant or retail store nationwide). I called to inquire about my bridal shower at the end of June. The guy who answered the phone had an attitude my outspoken aunt would say was "too smart for his own good." He was very short, and barely let me get a word out. He continuously spoke over me in one of those nice but really condescending type of ways. It's wrong on so many levels to make the assumptions on what people look like based off their name, their dialect, and their phone etiquette. But I did it anyways. His name was Connor or Tanner or Taylor or something like that. He was a little snotty jerk, and I pictured him to look like this:
Side Bar: The Kennedy's get a bad rap. I'm sure they are wonderful people.
This was all really my fault. I showed up at a bridal shop alone, and I called a busy restaurant in the middle of the week. I mean who does that??!!?? Apparently I do. No wonder why Carrie and Neil were throwing jabs at me. Amateur moves. I was kind of asking for it.
Anti-bride or not I have to take responsibility for the roles that I am playing, and the reason why I am being treated the way that I am. It kind of became real to me that all of these people are coming from all over for this one event. The event just so happens to be my wedding. They are all coming with closed minds ready to judge. I have been avoiding the facts about my life and my choices! In the words of any American Father my advice to myself would be "a kick in the behind," and " to get my act together quick!”
This experience does not take away the fact that NYC is a superficial place. Hot mess, 40 pounds overweight and all of my other flaws, if I was in Raleigh, NC those women at the bridal shop probably would not have treated me like a bum on the street. Or if I was in Richmond, VA and I called a restaurant they would have been a little more polite. I’m not in those places I am in NYC, and I do know better. I can’t be mad at Neil and Carrie for being Neil and Carrie.
In My Own Defense
I am getting it together. I have been slowly working on the transformation for a while. I have been trying to break a lot of bad habits. The biggest habit that I am trying to break is the Granddaddy of all bad habits that I have which is not valuing myself. I am realizing that all of my other bad habits have come from the fact that I haven’t valued myself enough to take care of all of me. I have been just getting by for years.
For example the economy has changed drastically. It’s not going to change back to the way that it was. I should have valued myself enough to do research to figure out which direction the job market was/is going in, and where I fit with my skills. Instead I have taken whatever opportunities that came across the table. Those opportunities may have paid very little forcing me to get a second job. Those opportunities may not have been in my particular field forcing me to spend additional time volunteering, and doing other assignments in my industry to stay relevant.
I charged all of this to the game of "Hustling!" "Hustling" resulted in me going in early and getting off late. I was too tired to eat a good meal so I would pick up Chinese. I was too tired to do a facial cleanse so I would just wash my face with soap in the shower. I was too tired to do 20 minute quick workouts so I would run out the door. I was too tired to do my hair so I would throw it up in a bun or some other quick do.
I think the secret weapon for most successful women is being attractive. Another secret is that attractiveness isn’t always as cookie cutter as one would think.
I am not vein but I am not stupid either. I do know that my looks have gotten me places that just my resume alone couldn’t get me. But what was supposed to temporary became permanent and that is how I let myself go.
Getting Back on Track
This whole wedding/anti-bride experience is allowing me to see myself in a way that I have not wanted to see myself. I have started to make some DRASTIC changes, and I am seeing the results. But I know that I am not completely where I want to be or where I need to be. I know that for others my transformation process is coming off as CRAZY. I.E. my separation from my former employer, my decision not to go back to graduate school anytime soon, and the fact that I am holding out on a employment position that some do not see as too promising. I think for the first time in 5 years I have taken a hard look at myself and I did not like what I saw. So now I am going to start investing in myself and my future.
I know I know the Unemployed Lady is actually considering having multiple dresses for her one wedding. Get outta town!!!
Here me out first please. My reception is going to be an evening reception starting roughly around 7:30pm. Originally I was against the idea of having a wedding ceremony. My dream was to exchange vows at the reception and have a nice toast.
This non traditional spin on a wedding really did not go over well AT ALL with anyone in either of our families. My fiance', GOD BLESS HIM, had been very open to the idea of a non traditional wedding from the beginning. His exact words when I brought the idea to him were, "umm yeah that sounds cool (insert Kanye West shrug from the College Dropout Album)." He was ride or die with me.... until ..... we received backlash from our family members again, this time for hiring a wedding planner. All of a sudden we have people on both sides of our families who are EXPERTS at planning weddings. Now, "My Love" seems to be having a change of heart. The closer that we are getting to the date the more I'm thinking I will have to compromise on this ceremony thing. YIKES!!!
The only thing that I can think of is having a very very small ceremony with about 15-20 people the day of the wedding. Something small like this:
The Three Maybe Four Wedding Dresses
As I stated earlier there was only going to be one event, the reception. So the dress for the reception I wanted it to be sexy, fun, non traditional, but elegant all the same. I was always open to wearing something other than white, but I never thought I would want a black and white dress until I saw a few. The dress that I picked for my reception is similar to these dresses:
I know I know both dresses are completely different. The dress that I chose has a train like the first dress, but is is fluffy like the second dress. It's black, white, and of course LACE!!! I think it's so different... LIKE ME. My family is proving to be so much more conservative than I ever thought so I'm keeping this gem to myself.
Our wedding is in the late fall, and I really want to take summer pictures. I'm thinking of getting a short flirty dress. The pictures don't even have to be professional shots, they can be from my hommie's iPhone. I want the pictures to look fun. I'm thinking something like this:
Last but not least is the ceremony dress. I'm not a serious person, but there are a few occasions where you should be serious. For my ceremony I'm thinking about having a more conservative, to some degree, long sleeve dress. I would prefer something form fitting and or lace like this:
Sounds Nice And Expensive $$$
It does sound very expensive but it is very doable. I have been doing my research on weddings by watching shows like Say Yes to the Dress, and a host of other shows in marathon format. (Don't judge me. lol lol) I already had a budget for my dress. The cost of my dress and alterations are much less than what I budgeted for. So I have some extra monies to spend on the other dresses. My thought process on the ceremony dress is that it will a be long-form fitting gown. AKA I will be able to wear it again once I get invited to the Met Ball or Oscars or something lol. The outdoor picture dress will probably be from H&M so I will be wearing that again as well lol.
The "picture dress" and the "ceremony dress" do not have to be super expensive or even my dream dresses. I really want something for the moment that I look great in. Basically reject prom dresses lol. I'm not going to go in debt to have my three dresses that's for sure! Anti-Bride or not it's been a rough few years. I think for one event if I want to wear three dresses I should be able to!
I was given a verbal job offer a little over two weeks ago. I'm UBER excited about it. I have been cabbage patching around my living room! My new employer is in the process of relocating. The present office space is extremely small; so they will not be able to officially bring me on until the middle or end of this month. I'm waiting to get the written offer letter via email sometime this week. Once I receive my first check you will probably catch me doing the tootsie roll like Ashley down there!!
Back to the Wedding Stuff!!
What I am finding out more now than ever before is that saying you are engaged and not having a ring is a complete oxymoron. When I tell people I'm getting married the first thing they say is "where's your ring?" I ever so boldly always reply "I DON'T HAVE ONE!!" Then it all starts. You know what I'm talking about..... The judgement! Hence the spiciness in the my reply.
The idea behind this topic, like the inspiration behind most of my wedding topics, started from a conversation that took place at my ahhheemmm former place of employment. The ladies in the office asked why I didn't have a ring. I said "uhh ... I don't know, we just didn't get one yet."
Mind you this whole "ring" conversation was followed behind the "proposal" conversation. In the proposal conversation I expressed that MY LOVE never officially proposed. In fact we just decided on a date.
So my old boss, who you will soon find out never holds anything back, laid into me. She went on one of her I'm just saying rants where she just said..., "a man should give you a ring because the ring symbolizes something. The ring has meaning. It symbolizes that he's serious." She said some other stuff that I selectively decided to not hear. BUT I did hear how she ended her rant, and it went a little something like this, "I mean whatever he can afford even if it's the tiniest ring it shouldn't matter because it shows he cares."
SHOTS!!
As if the conversation was not painfully uncomfortable enough. So many things ran through my mind. I fumbled through a terrible defense which was that I lose jewelry, and blah..blah.. blah.. blah..... blah......blah. Me losing jewelry is true to some degree. Not so much in this case. It was too late anyways. The implications were already there. My former boss only ranted for about 45 seconds, but the content was so heavy.
I naturally over analyze, rationalize, and categorize. That 15 minute conversation about my proposal, my wedding, my ring, etc etc etc (the etc etc etc will of course come to surface in other posts) left me feeling insecure. With time (which is the best therapy in my opinion) and alcohol I embraced being an anti-bride, and not having a ring.
My Present State of Mind
With all of that behind us I'm exploring ring options. I'm not to crazy about white gold. White gold is the "in" thing now, because it's the working man's platinum. My mom's been rocking a white gold wedding set since Michael Jackson's Off the Wall album debut.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with white gold, but it's just not for me.
Next there is yellow gold. To be quite honest, I do not know if I am secure enough as a woman to rock yellow gold either. Yellow gold is timeless to me. A beautiful yellow gold ring says classy, sassy, and everything in between. Bold, Gaudy, and Cheap can also fall in between classy and sassy. You have to be EXTRA careful when picking the style of a yellow gold ring.
So I am thinking about a custom made rose gold ring. My guy and I have decided we will travel to Midtown Manhattan (I love how I said travel like its a long trek or journey rather than a whole 12 miles from our house.) to the Diamond District in search for what I want.
That is the first step. The second step will be to see what the prices are, and if we can afford what I want. The third and final step will be to analyze whether what I want is what we want to spend. If it is more we will just get what we can afford for now, and get the custom ring later on.
Addressing What my OLD Boss Said
What my old boss said definitely pissed me the (___blank___) off. She is very opinionated and judgmental. But so are 80% of people especially women. I took it as being rude classless, and hateful. But I can not escape the fact that what she said was true. But it was her truth which is a lot of people's truth.
I said in my first post that I am different. I may look like everyone else, and have similar interest as the "normal" person BUT I am different. Maybe to my old boss, and a lot of other people, a ring symbolizes that her man is serious. Maybe to her a ring symbolizes what he can afford, and it shows that he cares. However, over here in "antibride land" the ring is just a piece of jewelry worn on the left hand fourth finger from the right if you count the thumb. For me the ring is special because it says I AM MARRIED without me having to utter a word. The only reason why I want it to be pretty is because I have to wear it everyday.
sigh.......
I just wish I was quicker on my toes and I could have told her that then.
I want to close this post on a high note. Let's hear it for: PERSONAL GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT.
Today is literally the morning after. Rather the afternoon after I should say. Afternoon after what you may ask??? After I was let go… okay let’s not sugar coat it…. FIRED from my job, hence the pink slip.
This blog is called the anti-bride which is what I am, but I am beginning to think that I am certainly the anti of a lot of things. My wedding date is a little under 9 months from today. So I was thinking what better day than TODAY to start documenting the crazy and anti-normalness that is my life.
I call myself the anti-bride because I’m just not with all this wedding stuff. I don’t hate it or not believe in it, it’s just not my thing. It’s kind of like the Winter Olympics. I think it’s sooo super cool, and I hope to one day meet Shani Davis and Apolo Ohno. BUT and this is a huge BUT I don’t think I will booking that flight to and hotel in Sochi, Russia next year.
I’ve never been the type of person to fake the funk or go with the flow. This is something that I deem as a gift and a curse. A gift because I will always be true to myself. A curse because the consequences and cost of not being able to be phony are often great. HENCE AGAIN ME GETTING FIRED!
About 3 years ago I fell in love. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love. I certainly wasn’t looking for love. I met a guy randomly, thought he was cute, and maybe we could go out to dinner or something. Literally it evolved into what we have today ladies and gentlemen. A few months into the relationship we both new that we wanted to one day get married. It just wasn’t the right time.
After working at, SAID PREVIOUS EMPLOYER, and getting asked a lot of nosy questions from the ladies in the office I asked myself why aren’t we getting married. The only reason I could come up with was my massive student loan debt, and the fact that I’m still on hiatus from NYU’s Graduate Program. So after giving it much thought I approached my guy one night while we were drinking beers and watching THE VOICE and said……. “you still want to, you know, do the thing.” He replied back, “yeah I’m just waiting on you, whenever you’re ready I’m ready.” So I said, “okay so when is your vacation time.” He had three upcoming vacation weeks so we decided on the vacation week in November and that's how it happened. No bended knee, no flower basket, no giant words on the GIANT SCREEN at Madison Square Garden. Just two people together watching The Voice and deciding to get hitched when he had time off.
I’m still a girls girl, and I still get excited about things. So I went to work excited about the news and happy to share with my co-workers. Then the questions started:
How did he ask you?
Where is your ring?
Where are you going to get married?
How many people are going to be in your wedding?
What did you sister say?
What did your mom say?
What!!! He still hasn't met your dad?
Are you guys going to stay in your apartment?
I couldn’t believe the questions, and I wasn’t ready for them. It was all too much, and I couldn’t believe these women had the nerve to ask me such personal questions. Whatever happened to “Oh congratulations I am so happy for you.”
If you’re thinking I got fired for assaulting one of my co-workers, though I may have wanted to I never acted on it. However, I did realize at that moment in time something that I have realized in similar situations through life. I realized that I am different. Though on the outside I may look like everyone else I’m not like everyone else.
Valentines Day was last Thursday, and last Saturday I purchased some flowers because flowers always make me happy. AND BECAUSE THEY WERE ON SALE!! My Scorpio sense of intuitiveness told me that something was going to happen soon and I needed the flowers to cheer me up. I always keep a stash of something to clear my mind, AKA beer, wine, liquor, and spirits. So after a few months of things not going so well at work, and having several talks with my boss about my future with the company they decided it was best that I be let go. I am not angry or upset about the decision I saw it coming for several months, and I am actually relieved that it is over. However, the sense of failure still lingers on in me. The thought of starting a marriage without having my feet secure in a career does scare me.
I am sure that as I navigate through the trials and tribulations of becoming a MRS. it will make for great commentary. This is going to be an interesting and wild journey and I’m actually really excited to share it.
