161 Days Left To Go...

     I've been longing to do wedding update post for a really really long time. What's stopped me from doing one is the thought of having a panic attack after coming to terms with what all that is left to do before the wedding. 

     According to my "theknot.com" wedding website I have exactly 161 days left to go. So what is there left to do before those 161 days????? Well, we'll get to that but first let me highlight what has been done!

What I've we've accomplished so far:

The Date - - 

Saturday, November 8, 2014

I know that it seems corny, but there are couples who play around with their date. Having been one of those couples... I should know. Remember our date was set for November 2, 2013. And we postponed it to November 8, 2014. So having a date is somewhat of a milestone!

The Venue - -
(Undisclosed) Manor on a Golf Course in Queens, NY

We have a venue, and it's not our apartment!!! Not that there's anything wrong with getting married in your apartment. But, being honest, I'm not the BEST hostess.

My Dress 

I have my dress, and it's in my closet ready to go! That's one less stress I tell ya! 
P.S. That's not it! 

Save the Dates

For the most part, all of the Save the Dates have gone out. YAY!

Theme and Colors

Our theme is Prince Diamonds and Pearls, and our colors are white/ off white, diamonds, pearls, and crystals!

What is left to do in 161 days:

DJ

It wouldn't be right, and I wouldn't be me if I didn't have a long - - dramatic - - overly analyzed story as to why I do or do not want to do something... So here goes...

My big brother is a DJ. He does it professionally, and he has DJ-ed every major event in my life. I'm talking all of my middle school dances! 

I knew that my brother was going to DJ my wedding before I even met my Fiance'. My brother DJ-ing my wedding was always a constant. 

When we signed the contract for the venue we were told that all vendors: photographer, dj, etc, must have a 2 million dollar liability insurance policy. Naturally I was taken aback. I knew that getting an insurance policy wasn't something that was impossible. For some reason, the mention of the policy allowed for some questions and doubts about my brother DJing seep into my mind.

The funny thing is the insurance is to protect the venue not "The Fiance" and me. But hearing the word insurance made me think about all of the reasons why you have protect yourself.

My brother is based out of Atlanta, and we're getting married in NYC. While my brother is a professional, he's also HUMAN. 

It wasn't a question of whether or not my brother could DJ, or if I wanted him to DJ. It was a matter of would it be fair. My brother has a family, a LARGE ONE at that, and they're going to be traveling by car/van/SUV/ think "National Lampoon" style. My brother would have to travel with his equipment including speakers and other dj stuff. Oh yeah.... remember our wedding is in November. So weather may be a factor!!

I'm sure by now you get it. There's a chance that something or someone can/will get forgotten in the process (i.e. Home Alone).

To bring home the point to a super long psychoanalytical story....

My wedding is November 8, 2014, and on that day something is going to go wrong, I am sure of it. But I would rather it be someone else that flubs than it be my brother. Yes, that is a hefty price that I am going to have to pay, but I feel like it is worth it. I would much rather pay for someone else to do the job, and have my brother just worry about being "The Brother of the Bride" and enjoy himself with his family. 

With that being said, I'm not ready to find a new DJ yet. I'm starting to open up more to the idea of another DJ taking on the responsibility. It's tough because I'm always going to make that comparison. It's just one of those things that is going to take time for me to get to that place. 

Oh the joys of discovering these silly deep rooted issues during the wedding planning process.

My Bouquet

Maybe you remember, or not, from previous post but I want a brooch bouquet. Originally I was going to make my own brooch bouquet..... 

Yeah....... Good Luck to me with that........

I'm not a DIY person. I want to be more crafty, but I'm too uptight! I want things to be sooo perfect, and I get angry with myself when I can't do the simplest tasks. 

So I'm not going to go to war with myself over my inability to create a brooch bouquet. I'd rather buy the damn thing and keep it moving. That's what I plan on doing. I just haven't done it yet. I hope to order it before the end of the summer!

Photographer

I did an entire post on this subject back in October. I still stand by everything that I said regarding hiring a photographer. You can read up on that post here: Photographer Stance.

Here's an update on where we are with the photographer. We want to hire a photographer, just not an extensive and expensive package. Our plan is to create a wedding photobook on Shutterfly. 

I somewhat started the research process for a photographer. More than likely I will ask the venue for some recommendations, and pick one of their in house vendors. It's not a HUGE deal to me. 

Invitations

I'm so indecisive when it comes to invitations. I'm still not 100% sold on the style of invitations that I want. I think I may just remix it and do my own style. I really like pocket invitations, but they tend to be expensive. Hand made invitations are beautiful, and also tend to be expensive. 

Our Save the Date Magnets were such a big hit that I don't think we really need to go over the top with invitations. We can keep it classy, elegant, and simple.

Keeping it all the way 100.....the magnets are going to stay on people's fridge FOREVER. But the invitation is going to end up in the trash at some point. For this reason I'm starting to lean more towards trying to find something elegant, but inexpensive. 

It's just so hard because my attention span for this type of stuff is like 30 minutes at most. So after 30 minutes I lose interest and start searching for houses on Trulia or something. I dunno, like "I CAN'T" "I CAN'T!"

Table Arrangements

For flowers I know that I want white and off white roses and hydrangeas. 

(Side Bar: I need to step up my flower game because I have repeatedly called hydrangeas, geraniums. Totally different flowers. It's like confusing a fully bloomed rose for a carnation.)

My centerpiece or flower power issue is that I don't want to deal with the headache and hassle of having fresh flowers imported in November from Peru or someplace like that. 

As far as table arrangements/centerpieces, I want all of my tables to have a uniformed look but they do not have to be identical. I want the arrangement to be: flowers in vases, mirrors, some sort of bling, and candles. How that is arranged on the table is completely optional. I want everything to be roughly the same size. But I'm not picky about the style. As long as it all looks uniformed.

Wedding Favors

How I feel about wedding favors is how I feel about the invitations... well sorta. I don't want to get people stuff that they're not going to use. I love the idea of wine, wine glasses, small bottles of various liquors, and shot glasses. The reason why I don't want to go that route is because I want the weekend to be party and excitement. 

Alcohol is literally the maid of honor, and best man for our wedding. As stated before most of the time I'm a pretty uptight person until I'm not. The last thing that I would want to do is give off the wrong impression. I know huge contradiction... What else is knew. But seriously, we will be drinking a lot at our classy, elegant, Prince inspired wedding. But I don't want to end our wedding with "hey go drink some more!!" 

I want people to walk away with something that they can use in their everyday life that isn't party and alcohol related.

In closing, the completed versions of what's left to do really isn't as bad as I thought it would be. 98% of the stuff on my list I have an idea of what I want it just boils down to finding the "right" vendor, or option for us. It's a process, and a very meticulous one for me because I only want to do this once. 

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bride

Email: theantibride2013@gmail.com

Twitter: @antibride2013

Grow Up Anti-Bride and Get a JOB (Long Post)

     Two more final exams left, and then my semester is DONE!!! I'm pretty darn excited. Now that my semester is coming to an end, and the summer is just over the horizon I started looking into the best part time/temporary/summer employment opportunities. 

     I started looking into this back in April. My new strategy on employment is to be... strategic! 

     By that I mean, I'm looking to gain employment in something that is going to be useful in my career transition. 

     Going into a field of communicative disorders I want to work particularly with individuals with speech and language delays due to head injuries. Of course the likelihood of busting out the gate and finding a job in a traumatic brain injury rehabilitation center or something like that is...... Yep! Very Unlikely!

     So I started looking into entry level positions where I can get basic - general experience working with:

a.) Children 

OR

b.) Adults with disabilities

OR

c.) Children with disabilities

     There is a reason why I put so much heavy emphasis on trying to find a job working with children. As stated before, my goal is to work more in the clinical and research side of speech pathology. However, busting out the gate fresh out of graduate school I may not get hired working in the exact area that I would like. Working with children is one of the areas in speech that hires new speech pathologists. 

     Since I don't have a vast amount of experience working with children. I thought it would be great to get that experience independently. It is a requirement through my undergraduate and future graduate studies to work with children. It's included in our coursework, but getting a head start on something never hurt anyone!!!

     On the flip side, there are opportunities for me to gain general experience working with adults with disabilities as well. While I want to work with those who have head injuries, to gain that immediate experience, research, and knowledge I'm told it's best to work with stroke patients. Strokes are a cause for disabilities and problems for some adults.

     As luck would have it... (I never use that saying lol lol) I started to get call backs for interviews. I actually was able to get multiple interviews in ALL of the areas that I am looking to find work in:

a.) Children 

OR

b.) Adults with disabilities

OR

c.) Children with disabilities


     I'm still going through the interview process(es) now. I'm super excited, and I kept everything a secret for about 2 weeks. Well kinda a secret... I told the twin sister a week ago, but she's cool. She's been helping me 'process' it all and stay grounded. 

     So you're probably saying okay AntiBride --  "Where's the problem? You seem to have it together. What's the beef?"

     Well I started opening my BIG MOUTH and asking other's for their opinions knowing good and well that I know what I'm doing!

     I had a mild dilemma which wasn't a HUGE deal. If only I just took a few deep breathes, and stopped to think about it for a second .... or 2 days...

"hey who's counting!!??!!"

     All in all I could have worked out this little hiccup amongst myself and all of the different personalities that live in my head. But NOOOO I had to start yapping. 

So here's the dilemma:

Background on the dilemma:

     I got my first job offer. But I have some time to make a decision, because the job doesn't start right away. There's a whole security process that can take up to 5 weeks or longer. This job like all of the jobs I've applied to, and am interviewing for are entry-level. So basically they're all going to be paying roughly about the same.

     This job, and 2 of the other jobs that I'm vying for is working with the disabled population. I have the opportunity to work with adults or children. 2 of the jobs are part time, and one job is full time. All 3 jobs are hands on and come with a lot of responsibility. But so is life!

     I was excited, because this is what I wanted. But I became a little nervous. My concern is that "I do not want to bite off more than what I can chew."

     I'm taking classes this summer, and will continue to take classes throughout the year. Not to mention this little party that I'm planning to attend early November! 

     Yesterday I got a call to set up an interview to be a camp counselor at one of the YMCA's near my house. I was super excited about this interview, and a little relieved. The job posting said "be prepared to go to the pool." I was sold! 

The actual dilemma:

     The other companies (companies other than the YMCA) that I have a possibility to work for, hire speech pathologists. So it would be a good idea to get in with the companies now! If I'm thinking about job security, and gaining experience it makes sense to get in with a company that could hire me or maybe even pay for my schooling.

        My dilemma is that my strategy was to gain entry-level experience working with the above stated populations. It was never to look into gaining a career. The other jobs (meaning the jobs other than the YMCA) could put me on a "career" track in an area within the field that I don't have a desire to work in.

       Also school isn't a cake walk. It's very challenging and requires a lot of time outside of class to study and practice. Committing to a full time job, or a part time job with A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITY may eventually effect my studies.

SOOOO.....

I was having a very hard time working this out with myself, and decided to call upon others for advice. Big Mistake!

     When I told them about the job offers I had and the position "titles" they were very proud of me! But when I told them that I was thinking about really pursing the YMCA they were like 

     Why??? Why??? Do I always seek other's validation when it comes to my career. I know that 'I got dis!' But I always go to others and they always respond like I've lost my mind. And I lose all credibility QUICK!

     What really got to me, and really made me feel 'A Way' was the hinting that I may be suffering from the dreadful Peter Pan Syndrome.

     One of my adviser's questioned when am I going to be ready to step out and take a "real job." She felt that I have the opportunity right in front of my face to take a "real job" and I would rather play Marco Polo with the YMCA kids.

     If we want to keep it ALL THE WAY REAL none of these jobs are going to be paying me the King's Ransom anyways. 

     From the beginning it's been about getting experience. If I can get experience, get a tan, lose some weight (chasing after children) in a temporary setting why wouldn't that be a viable option? I think the fact that people gave me the "are you serious" tone regarding the YMCA is what pissed me off. If all of these jobs are paying roughly the same why wouldn't they all have the same level of equivalence.

     The YMCA job would give me a general sense of being around children. Maybe I can request to work with a child who has a disability. But the YMCA is just general. The other positions would actually require certification and training so that I can work with a specific disabled population. 

     Naturally the option to have a company pay for certification is a great option. It's just important to think about whether or not the non YMCA positions would be assets or liabilities. How much time and attention will this take away from school? Attending certification courses, then going to work, then going to school??? 

     These are the questions that I wanted to work through with family and friends.

     My questions were met with more questions. Of course this isn't the first time my friends/family/both have questioned my decisions. This isn't the first time that they have wondered if I "had it all together." I think what hurts is that at this point I feel like I've come SOOOO far. I feel like I'm making SOOO much progress.

     It hurts that the people closest to me. The people who have heard me whine, cry, complain etc etc about doing more and being better aren't giving me the credit I feel that I deserve. I feel like they're not giving me the support that I would like to have. It's always this 'constructive criticism' that they wouldn't want to hear if they were in my shoes. 

     I'm hurt because it took a lot for me to take a step back and say - - "I'm flattered to have the opportunity to be offered these positions." "I know that they would look awesome on my resume, HOWEVER I don't know if I'm ready for this just yet." As a cashed strapped Bride (FYI ALL BRIDES ARE CASH STRAPPED EVEN Kim Kardashian because there's always more and More and MORE!!) 

for me to say I think I'll take a job at the YMCA because it will allow me to focus more on school. To say that takes a lot.

     

     Yes I know this is borderline:

     Aww hell I think it is full blown Pity Party!!! But hey, I'll wear that on my back proudly. Because I'm a little sick of it. By "it" I mean the "she doesn't have it together let's help her" idea that the people in my life seem to have of me. 

     It's this damned if you do damned if you don't situation that I've allowed myself to get in with people around me. If I'm reserved then they feel like I'm unaware. If I'm vocal they're looking to poke all kinds of holes in my plans. It's never "we trust her." This is all leading to me not giving a (____________) in 5.4.3.2......

     So what have I learned from all of this??? Well to keep MUM!

     In closing, while this wasn't a huge situation. It was more of a misunderstanding, if even that. I'm realizing that what I put out, is what I'm going to get back. I need to work things out more with myself, and trust in myself with these decisions. Contrary to popular belief I have a 5 year plan. It's just important to be strategic!

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bride

Email: theantibride2013@gmail.com

Twitter: @theantibride2013

     

Cobwebs and Breakthrus!

     I know I know I have to dust off the cobwebs on this blog. Once again I went on a hiatus.... What can I say, school got really REAL for me. I have a little less than 2 weeks to go before my semester is up. 

     This semester has been an emotional roller coaster. I have had to make A LOT of drastic changes for the sake of my sanity, and trying to make the best grades. 

     Going into finals week, I must admit I'm kinda shook. I'm feeling a lot like this:

The caption reads: "Professor I won't be able to attend class today, I have to go to a funeral."   "Sorry for your loss."   "RIP Your Brain."

     I am starting to feel confident about finals. I know that I'm going to pull it all off.  

     Here's a quick recap for those of you who are new to this blog and are scratching your head saying to yourself "wait school wha????"

     Yes I am in school. I have my B.A. degree in communications. I have worked in the field of journalism (media, print, radio etc), sports, and entertainment for the past 10+ years. When "The Fiance" and I decided we wanted to get married I was pursuing my M.S. in sports business. 

     I recently decided to change careers for a 'BUNCH' of personal reasons. Instead of continuing in the sports and entertainment industry I decided to pursue a career in communicative disorders. 

     I decided to do all of this while planning a wedding... Crazy right!!!

     If you read the previous posts on this topic from this blog it will all makes sense I promise. 

     Right now I'm taking the undergraduate prerequisite requirements before I apply to graduate school. Coming from a background of communication/journalism, particularly being trained in broadcast journalism I approached my new industry of communicative disorders with a slew of biases. 

     Overcoming those biases have been challenging. It's hard to wipe the slate clean in order to be successful in a new thing. In order to do well in school I had to step back from a lot of things. Those things included... hmmm... let's see:

1. Friends
2. Working (Having a steady job)
3. Any other type of social life/activities
4. Blogging
5. WEDDING PLANNING

     Wedding planning was #1 on that list, but now is #5, because I made a HUGE milestone regarding wedding decor.

     If you're an avid reader of this blog I'm not sure if you noticed but I live in my head a lot. By that I mean I have a HUGE imagination. My mind is always going. I'm always thinking, planning, revising, restructuring etc. etc. etc. I blame it on my scorpio-ness (my zodiac sign).

     For my wedding/reception decor I have had this whole Prince: Diamond's and Pearls - Theme going strong for the past two years now.

     To add onto that theme I have my mind set on the reception room being all white. This all-white thing is a fairly new concept for me. I played around with having white, black, and red theme. Going from my white, black, and red theme to ALL WHITE is pretty EPIC!!!

     Just teasing, it's not that serious.

     I'm requesting that my guests wear black. I think it will go well with the decor. Which by the way isn't ALL WHITE like I've been raving about for the past 3 paragraphs or so. It's really: white/off white, with DIAMONDS, PEARLS, and CRYSTALS! I want it to be elegant and GRACEFUL. (Did you catch that Crystals and Graceful...)

     I coin this as a milestone because it took sooo much for me to really decide on decor. Much like my school experience of having to step away from everybody and everything in order to achieve 'good grades.' I feel the same has to be said about my wedding ideas. 

     Stepping away from thinking about our wedding, talking about our wedding, researching on things for our wedding...... stepping away from all of that really got me to come to my senses!

     In conclusion, my last final exam is May 20th. If I do not post anything before then I will give an update on finals for those who are interested in my next post!

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bride 

Email: theantibride2013@gmail.com

Twitter: @theantibride2013