I decided to break "the fourth wall" and start talking to you guys --"the readers"-- personally. I feel if you're reading this post then you must share, or have some sort of interest, in my mindset, or the generic mindset of an Anti-Bride.
If you're interested in MY mindset I have to say there was a point where I thought this whole "Anti-Bride" thing was just a phase. This was very recent. I'm talking as recent as last week!
I started to feel like "Hmmmmm maybe I am a traditional bride after all." Well......... that theory came to a screeching halt. Why you ask????
Three things:
- I am an Anti-Bride because: I am completely sold on the flower and brooch bouquet idea. I am starting to pick up brooches, earrings, and other jewelry items.
- I am an Anti-Bride because: I am also 95% sold on the idea of having fabulously-fake-flower and jewelry centerpieces on the guest tables. This really goes with my whole Prince - Diamonds and Pearls theme.
In "layman's terms": I am an Anti-Bride because there will be NO, I repeat, NO fresh flowers at my wedding reception. - I am an Anti-Bride because: I am soooooooooooo not sold on spending A LOT of my remaining budget on the photographer. For me the pictures aren't the most important aspect of the wedding.
I know I know, those 3 reasons are pretty big. I plan to dedicate a full post on reasons 1 & 2 later on. For this post I want to divulge my photographer stance.
SO..........
This wedding is turning out to be WAAAYYY more expensive than I could have ever imagined.
Disclaimer: I didn't have a budget when we began planning our wedding. When we originally started planning the wedding I was working, and had a decent salary. The budget wasn't a huge issue. I knew I didn't want to spend $20,000 for my wedding. I just wasn't sure how much it was going to take to make my vision come alive.
Being really really forthcoming, I didn't have a complete vision. I just knew what I liked and what I didn't like. I needed a lot of guidance. NOW that we are almost a year into planning I have a much better understanding of what I want and what I'm willing to spend.
My life and direction has changed so much in the past 8 months. I've mentioned this repetitiously, that I am entering Plan B career wise. When we started planning this wedding my career plan was to stay at my former employer for 3 years. Those 3 years were going to buy me some time to figure out how and if I need to execute Plan B. Well..... we see what happened with Plan A.
Losing my job and losing my steady income was very difficult. By the SAVING GRACE of the ALMIGHTY!! (HALO moment in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1)
I received some much needed financial support.
When we began planning the wedding I knew that I would be receiving this support at some point during the process. This financial support wasn't intended to be used for the wedding. For all expense purposes we could have used that support to make the wedding happen on November 2nd of this year. Having experienced that job loss I couldn't see myself getting married on November 2, 2013 without knowing for sure what my career future was going to be. Seriously what were we going to do on November 3rd?
I'm going to bring it home. I promise you will understand what all of this has to do with my stance on the photographer.
I decided back in August that I needed to get as organized as humanly possible, and try to work out a budget. 75% of our venue is paid. We hope to have 90% of the venue paid by December. When I renegotiated my contract with my wedding planner she stipulated that she be paid in full by November 1, 2013. Needless to say she will be paid up in a week or so. So that leaves the budget for EVERYTHING else.
I don't like to talk numbers because it's no one's business. So I won't talk numbers per say. What I will say is the budget for everything else, in my personal opinion, is pretty reasonable. Put it this way, I am looking to go back to school and pursue a 2nd B.A. or B.S. (depending on the program that accepts me) in speech language pathology. My tuition for full time (12 credits) at one of the CUNY (or City University of New York) colleges would be roughly around the MAX of what I'm willing to spend on the budget for everything else for the wedding.
Taking that into consideration I decided to make a priority list from most important to least important in our budget. For me the decor (decorations and lighting), and the entertainment (dj and mc) are the most important things. That leaves the photographer as the least important thing.
I am not, and have never been, photogenic. I don't really enjoy taking pictures, because I'm always disappointed by the outcome. Then I also have my "twin insecurity issues." (If you want to get caught up on my twin insecurity go to my Bridal Shower Recap post.) I understand the importance of the photographer. There are those special pictures that a Smart Phone cannot due justice. So I get that part. I plan to do my research to find the best quality and most affordable package.
For my ideal situation I want to have the photographer snap the portrait style pictures. The important pictures like the entrance, the toasts, the daddy daughter dance, first husband and wife dance, cutting of the cake, and all of those sentimental things. Everything else I plan to just gather the those pictures from my guests.
While I'm not HUGE on social media, I decided that I wanted to have a HEAVY social media presence when it comes to my wedding. We have our wedding page on theknot.com, and I plan to incorporate Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. When I brought this up to my wedding planner I felt as though she took it as a bit "low rent" of me to want to have a huge social media presence in replace of having a really good and expensive photographer.
From an industry perspective I respect my wedding planner's position. But I am an Anti-Bride or in wedding industry terms a "non-traditional bride."
In closing, this is just part 1 on my stance on the photographer. Oh there will be more parts to this as this is an ongoing issue. Going back to my first career and love which is sports journalism/communications/business my photographer situation reminds me of debate that I had with colleagues in the industry.
A few years back one of the NYC area sports teams had a 3D theater style room within the arena where fans could watch the LIVE game take place.
This was supposed to be the new wave or evolution in sports. Watching games in 3D in the arena. It was supposed to be so retro and so in.
AND I thought it was the dumbest idea ever. When asked about it was I was very blunt I said this idea makes absolutely no sense. We live in 3D. So you're expecting fans to actually spend money to go to the arena to watch the game in 3D in a separate room. I can see if it aired on the jumbotron in the arena. That would be beautiful for fans who do not have the best seating. But to actually be in the arena and not experience the game live is just stupid. The whole point of going to a game in to experience the game not watch it on television.
Well I liken that to my photographer situation. The whole point of spending a lot of time and money on a wedding reception is so that you can enjoy the reception. I don't want to spend all of my time at my reception taking and posing for pictures. Hey that's just what I think!
Sincerely,
The Anti-Bride 2013
Email: theantibide2013@gmail.com
Twitter: @theantibride2013
For my ideal situation I want to have the photographer snap the portrait style pictures. The important pictures like the entrance, the toasts, the daddy daughter dance, first husband and wife dance, cutting of the cake, and all of those sentimental things. Everything else I plan to just gather the those pictures from my guests.
While I'm not HUGE on social media, I decided that I wanted to have a HEAVY social media presence when it comes to my wedding. We have our wedding page on theknot.com, and I plan to incorporate Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. When I brought this up to my wedding planner I felt as though she took it as a bit "low rent" of me to want to have a huge social media presence in replace of having a really good and expensive photographer.
From an industry perspective I respect my wedding planner's position. But I am an Anti-Bride or in wedding industry terms a "non-traditional bride."
In closing, this is just part 1 on my stance on the photographer. Oh there will be more parts to this as this is an ongoing issue. Going back to my first career and love which is sports journalism/communications/business my photographer situation reminds me of debate that I had with colleagues in the industry.
A few years back one of the NYC area sports teams had a 3D theater style room within the arena where fans could watch the LIVE game take place.
This was supposed to be the new wave or evolution in sports. Watching games in 3D in the arena. It was supposed to be so retro and so in.
AND I thought it was the dumbest idea ever. When asked about it was I was very blunt I said this idea makes absolutely no sense. We live in 3D. So you're expecting fans to actually spend money to go to the arena to watch the game in 3D in a separate room. I can see if it aired on the jumbotron in the arena. That would be beautiful for fans who do not have the best seating. But to actually be in the arena and not experience the game live is just stupid. The whole point of going to a game in to experience the game not watch it on television.
Well I liken that to my photographer situation. The whole point of spending a lot of time and money on a wedding reception is so that you can enjoy the reception. I don't want to spend all of my time at my reception taking and posing for pictures. Hey that's just what I think!
Sincerely,
The Anti-Bride 2013
Email: theantibide2013@gmail.com
Twitter: @theantibride2013
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