My Role Model of a Sexy Woman

****Disclaimer this blog isn't intended to be chronological, however to understand this post fully you may need to read the previous Granny Panties post. If you choose not to read the Granny Panties post please disregard the first two full paragraphs and begin reading this post past the Dig Deeper photo.****      
   

       In my Granny Panties post I mentioned that Janet Jackson during the Velvet Rope era is THE ULTIMATE image of sexy for me. Let me catch you up to speed.

SOOOOOO

Conversations between me and my hunny regarding my bridal shower and the "Lingerie Meltdown of 2013" led to “The Fiance” making comments that I wear “Granny Panties.” The “Granny Panties” blog post was conceived and birthed. I revealed in my “Granny Panties” post that I don’t feel sexy. But once upon a time when I did feel sexy I channeled Janet Jackson during the Velvet Rope Era. Let's dig deeper into WHY JANET JACKSON and WHY THE VELVET ROPE ERA why not the NASTY GIRL ERA?

I am in my mid to late 20’s. Throughout my whole entire life I could not wait to be this age. (Disappointed much???? Yes, but we’re not going to go there. There is plenty of good to go around so let’s not dwell on the bad.) When I was young girl, maybe around 8 or 9, I already knew who I wanted to be as an adult. By the age that I am now I thought (in my 8 year old mind) that I would have accomplished everything that would make me be that person.

My mother is tall. She’s around 5 feet 10 or 5 feet 10.5, and my father is 6 feet tall. Both of my brothers are over 6 feet tall. So at 8 years old I knew I was going to be tall, and have a nice shape like my mom. I always had long legs, long arms, long fingers, and long toes. I just had my life all planned out. Not just appearance wise, career wise too. I knew I was going to be living in New York, and I was going to be some type of Executive Career Woman like Sue Ellen in Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter is Dead.

At 8 years old I thought I would marry in my mid-thirties. I would marry a divorced bachelor in his forties with elementary aged children and we would live in a huge house in Westchester County, NY. We would both be top executives, and I wouldn’t have to have children because my husband and I would be raising his children because his ex-wife remarried and moved to L.A.

I swear to you that was how I envisioned my life would be when I was 8 years old. I had a VIVID and very DESCRIPTIVE imagination. You have no idea.

When I got to middle school/junior high school I was not growing. I was a little upset, because I wanted to be one of the tall girls and I was one of the really short girls. In middle school girls were maturing and developing, and I wasn’t. I felt disappointed. All of the images of successful women on t.v. were tall beautiful women. Parts of my dream died. I’ll admit I had low self-esteem. I didn’t hate the way that I looked, but I did not look how I wanted to look. I didn’t look like what I thought was pretty.

The Velvet Rope album came out in 1997, and that was right in the middle of my tough adolescent years.

I was never a huge Janet Jackson fan. Janet Jackson was just a familiar artist, and someone who had been around my entire life. But I remember seeing Janet Jackson with that fire engine red hair, the tattoos, the piercings, and BOOBIES PUSHED UP TO HER CHIN. I remember thinking OMGOSH she is beautiful! She was so different, and it made people notice her. AND Janet is SHORT. And I was short. (I still am short lol) So that made me relate to her.

I will be honest to this day I never listened to the entire album. I really have not had a desire to listen to the album outside of the radio singles. But Janet’s image during the period of that album completely changed in my mind what I thought was beautiful, and what I thought was sexy. I had always been conservative, and I am still conservative about things. Seeing those pictures of Janet, and how she carried herself during that time brewed a sauciness in me that I reserved until I got older.  

How can you not find her sexy??

Fast forward to today I am still very influenced by Janet Jackson’s Velvet Rope Era. That red hair is everything. I swear as soon as I get a job, and my third check is direct deposited I am going straight to the salon to get my hair colored that fire engine red.

I’m waiting until my third check is direct deposited because that gives me a little more security with the job. They will have more time to get to know me and my personality. I have a serious case of unemployment PTSD.

Becoming a bride it’s funny to think back to what I envisioned my life to be like as an 8 year old. It is shocking to me how much my dream has changed as my life has evolved from then until now. My image of myself has changed a lot. But my goals have not changed as much. I still want to be that executive, and I still want to have the huge house in Westchester County.

 In closing, as far as my role model for the ultimate sexy woman goes…. it has almost been 20 years since the Velvet Rope album came out and I still have yet to find a role model that represents sexy more than Janet did. I really don’t think that I will find a sexier role model.

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bride 2013