I Want To Give A Shout-Out To All Of My Ex's

     I MAY very well be TOO much of a skeptic, or reaching a little far on this one

BUT....

     It doesn't fully sit well with me when I see women in healthy and happy relationships - - whether it be fully committed, engaged, or married - - give a "shout-out" OR make any acknowledgment of their past relationships via social media. To me, it just isn't a good look.

     I recently decided to take a break from my personal social media activities. I do have to go on Facebook from time to time because I'm finalizing the Master Guest List for the wedding.

     (Don't worry the post on that MESS will be up shortly) 

     So, I go on Facebook this past weekend to message friends and family the whole "Hey, did you move yet?" "What's your new address?" routine. FUN RIGHT? - NOT!!!!

Later on in the day I log back in, because I refuse to link any of my personal social media accounts to my phone -TOO DISTRACTING-, and I noticed a post on my timeline from a newlywed that expressed gratitude and thanks to her ex's. BECAUSE if it wasn't for them, them being the ex's, she wouldn't have been able to find the one that she was meant to be with.

     Now it was said in a MUCH MUCH classier way than how I put it. This person's post involved thanks to the LORD. It received a lot of "Like's" because it came off very testimonial. 

    BUT....

     Despite how it was put it still didn't sit well with me. 

    Much like how the cronut doesn't sit well with me either....

    Shoot, it has taken me about a decade to accept that the McGriddle is here to stay. 

     Change has never really been my thing.

But I digress.

     I think that all women have that Beyonce - Best Thing I Never Had moment. 

     That moment when you say to yourself, "Thank God I dodged that bullet." And you literally mean that. You literally Thank God that you didn't stick with that ex-boyfriend.

     And I think that's what you should say. I think you should express how happy you are, express how thankful you are to God for the current man in your life, express how "wow this could have gone in a whole 'nother direction!" Express all of that! I think that once you literally put the word "Ex" or "Ex's" in the mix then it just goes left. 

    I don't know if I have really proven my point so hear me out for a second. I think I can give a little more clarity by using myself as an example.

     None of my past relationship have ended with me not speaking to the other party for eternity. I am cordial with ALL of my ex-boyfriends. I am connected to ALL of my ex-boyfriends via one social media account or another. NOW I do not communicate with all of them on a regular basis. I can get in contact with all of them, and they can get in contact with me if either of us choose. (That rarely happens.) 

     I mentioned my connection to my ex's because this is the direction that the world is going in. It's becoming more and more impossible to cut off all communication with people ESPECIALLY if you have mutual contacts.

     I remember when I "got engaged" - or rather The Fiance' and I picked our first wedding date - and I started to tell my friends the first things out of "some" of their mouths was 

• "what did (inset ex-boyfriend's name here) say"
• "are you still cool with (insert ex-boyfriend's name here)"
• "are you going to invite (insert ex-boyfriend's name here) to your wedding"
• "does your Fiance' know about (insert ex-boyfriend's name here)"

     

     I couldn't be mad at my friends because when I find out some I know is getting married those are some of the questions I ask myself.

     I'm not a relationship expert, life coach, psychologist, or psychiatrist. I'm just regular girl with a blog, and a lot of opinions! With that being said, and BEING A GIRL approaching her 30's I've lived my life. I do know what it's like to have a relationship end not so well. To see an ex move on with someone else in front of your face. And even to experience a little public humiliation with an ex. 

      And again BEING A GIRL APPROACHING HER 30'S I know a thing or two about having all of this play out on social media. Having to put on your big girl panties and not block the "new girl" on Facebook or Twitter. Having to swallow your pride and connect with an Ex on LinkedIn because he's well connected and you need a job. And trying desperately to not stalk their new life on Instagram.

DAMMIT IT'S HARD!

  BUT....

     When you move on with your life AND you are now in a happy and healthy relationship AND you no longer feel that sting when that person pops up on your Timeline AND you truly stop caring. I find it to be very unfair for your PRESENT RELATIONSHIP for you to even remotely make reference to anything that could be related to a past relationship. 

    I don't know it just seems a bit petty. 

    In closing, one thing about communication is that it's not always about what you mean, but more about how its perceived. On the flip side you can't control how people perceive what you mean. I guess that's why so many people have no filter!

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bride

Email: theantibride2013@gmail.com

Twitter: @theantibride2013