Yesterday was a semi-tough day. Not all the way tough. There was a 3 hour period where annoying things kept happening back to back and it made me want to scream. My Fiance' stepped in and we had a heart to heart, and it really calmed my nerves. I really was feeling like I was alone in this unemployment thing, but I'm starting to realize that I'm not. The longer I stay unemployed the more signs that I see that it's tough for a lot of people for different reasons.
So I decided to blog about it and make light of a very negative situation. Where to begin???? Let's see....
If you have been following this blog then you know that I have had interviews pretty regularly the entire time that I have been unemployed. That makes me feel good, because I'm getting through H.R. The only problem is that I get to the 2nd or 3rd interview and then find out maybe 2 weeks later that I didn't get the job.
It's frustrating on so many different levels. The feedback that I am getting is surprisingly the same. I'm basically being told by H.R. that the hiring manager really likes me BUT they found someone else that they felt would be a better fit. Then I'm told to apply again. Or my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE "if you see the position is available in a different department email me and I will pull your resume and set you up with an interview."
On two separate occasions I was told by my H.R. contact person to email them directly if I see the position is listed again. Good news right!!! I basically have a "IN" with two companies!! YAY. Well that's what I thought too.
In a surprising twist of fate. MY FATE. Within the past 3 weeks positions have become available with both companies. OH BUT IT GETS BETTER!!!
My contacts for both companies are no longer with either company. CRAZY. So I did my due diligence and left messages with the people who are now in the positions of my former contacts. I have not heard back.
Of course I'm feeling a lot like this.
I had an interview on Friday, but that did not go so well. It was raining cats and dogs literally this past Friday. I wore rain boots but left my heels for the interview in the house. Then my umbrella malfunctioned, and I got drenched. When the interviewed started I really did not make a great connection with the women I was interviewing with. Pardon my French, but it felt like they were just pulling sh*t out of their *sses to ask me. I was wondering for a minute if we were all talking about the same position.
It's not all bad. I do have some:
I had an interview/screening on Monday that went REALLY REALLY WELL. I made a really great connection with the woman I was interviewing with. She really got me and was impressed by me. She wants to set up a second interview. I should be hearing back from her today or tomorrow. That makes me feel good. I don't feel like a complete bag of used goods.
This process has been so enlightening for me. I was with my former employer for under a year before getting fired. Two days into my employment I felt that I had made a bad decision. I did not want to quit because I thought I may have been experiencing cold feet. More importantly I thought it would be too irresponsible. Things got worse and worse and worse and worse. It turned into a hostile and verbally abusive working environment.
As terrible of a situation that was I learned so much from it. Everything Anti-Bride related from me branding myself The Anti-Bride 2013, and me wanting to share my experiences came from that job situation. I worked in a very small office with 4 overly opinionated women. We were different in every way, but their take on weddings and the obsession with the meticulous details about weddings is what made me fall on my sword and say "okay okay I am The Anti-Bride." If I never experienced the torment (yes torment you have no idea the crazyness I endured while at that company) of working for that employer, and the harsh/rude/tacky comments about my wedding choices the Anti-Bride would have never been born.
In fact if those women did not keep pressuring me about why I'm not married my Fiance' and I would have never had that conversation about choosing a date while watching The Voice on NBC. So MANY positive things came from that terrible situation.
When I was recently at my lowest point with this job situation I have to hold up a mirror. I had a discussion with my wedding planner. My wedding planner is one of the most amazing women that I have met in a REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY +12 more REALLY's (yes that many really's) long time. She's so positive and she gave me some encouraging words. Which reminded me that this experience isn't REALLY (heehee, I love the word really) that awful. In fact there are
First - I'm not cursed. Cursed people do not get interviews as often as I have been getting them.
Second - I'm clearly not alone, because two H.R. Coordinators are no longer working at their former places of employment. Whether it be they quit, were terminated, or found some other form of employment there was some form of moving on that took place.
Third - I have a support system. People that are thinking about me. I am sure that I will not go hungry or homeless. There are a lot of people unemployed who live with the fear of what am I going to eat today, or where am I going to live?
Fourth - It was due time that I feel what it feels like to be "unlucky."
Luck is something that I was taught not believe in as a child, but I think we all secretly believed in it. I am a faith based person. But I do believe in luck. I know I basically said I am a Democrat but I vote Republican.... like huh?? It's weird and makes no sense I know. But believing in luck is the only positive way that I can explain the unexplainable in my mind. So I just go with it.
There are people who are just dealt a bad hand. I don't want to call them unlucky, because in some ways that would be saying they are cursed. But for lack of a better word that's the best way to describe their situation. It's an unlucky situation.
For me faith can meet luck half way. I believe that most people have faith in what they know or experience. I believe if you have been lucky or have seen people in lucky situations you have more faith that the same can and will happen to you. I also believe that people who haven't been lucky in life, may have faith that good things do happen. But the extent of those things happening may not be as high as it would be for someone who has been lucky.
I can go on and on about my beliefs forever. But the point that I am trying to make is that I have been lucky for a good stretch of my life. I come from a good family, and I have been exposed to a lot of things. I am aware that my achievements have 98% to do with the fact that I have been lucky. I say that it's luck because I don't have a third arm, or a larger brain, or anything special like that. I'm just like everyone else. At a young age really great things happened for me that didn't happen for other kids. I knew then that I needed to always be thankful, and help others.
There was a point in my life and my career where I was the "it" girl. I remember one of my friends called me while I was at work and they left a message. I was super busy and did not respond back to their call until 3 days later. This person wanted me to assist them with writing a grant to help start up their non-profit. I told this person to email me what they had, and I would look over it and get back to them. I remember hearing the disappointment in their voice.
Being a busy executive especially in my industry it was common practice for people to respond like that. But that wasn't me. I know that it took a lot for this person to ask me for help. And I really did not consider their feelings.
At that point in my life I was like this
That happened over 3 years ago, but it still haunts me. I have been lucky enough to be able to have things work out so perfectly for me. Looking back things fell into place for me in ways mainly due to being at the right place at the right time. I charged it to hard work, or to me being the "ISH" but I was just really lucky.
Being in this rut I'm getting to see what it's like to not be so lucky. To have really crazy and crappy disappointing things happen. I'm seeing what it feels like to go on an interview and do well, but still not get the job. Before falling into this rut there wasn't an interview were I didn't land the job. Now I'm starting to see what it feels like to not be unlucky.
I'm feeling the disappointment. I feeling what it feels like to have all of the credentials, do well on the interview, and still not be who they want. This was a lesson that I needed to learn. The lesson of humility. I'm learning yes you are pretty, but there is someone who may be prettier. Yes you are talented, but there is someone else who may be more talented. Yes you are young, but there is someone else who is younger.
Closing words, reflecting on my third month of being unemployed I believe I have reached a place of understanding. I am understanding that I have to be more humble, and be thankful for the luck that I have had and continued to have.
Sincerely,
The Anti-Bride 2013
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